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5 Ways to boost your confidence before a date

Ariel Kiley and Simone Kornfeld are the irresistible flirting experts who collectively wrote Smitten: The Way of the Brilliant Flirt.

Powerful techniques to part those clouds and boost your confidence sky-high before stepping out.

Hot date Saturday night? High five! A romantic prospect on the horizon means the potential for a sexy new beginning. But with this potential there might also be a whole swarm of butterflies filling your belly, lightheadedness, shortness of breath and worst of all, self doubt. When feelings of low self-esteem cloud your thoughts, the pleasure of anticipation gets sucked right out of Saturday night. Bummer city. So the following are five powerful techniques to part those clouds and boost your confidence sky-high before stepping out.

Photo credit: www.neilwalkerphoto.com

Add some sexy to your prep

Getting ready for a date should not be the same as getting ready to meet your sister. Don’t just rush through the steps. Instead pointedly imbue your preparations with sensuality. Take a long shower and then lather your warm skin in silky coconut oil. Turn on your favorite new music, slip into the lacy bra and panties you plan on wearing for the evening and watch yourself dance in front of the mirror. Observe how incredibly gorgeous the movement of your hips and swing of your hair is. When choosing your outfit, make sure to wear something you truly love. The dress, bracelet or pumps should make the corners of your mouth curl up with pleasure. Make your preparations into a ritual with your sensual female creativity. This will set your foundation of confidence as you step out and share yourself with your date and the world.

Do a pre-date meditation

Your spiritual practice needn’t just be focused on relinquishing your attachment to all worldly possessions; it can also be activated to bring out your Buddha nature in anticipation of your hot date. Dates have a way of highlighting fears of inadequacy. Trying to push those thoughts away will actually make them grow to monstrous proportions. So set a timer for 10 minutes and sit in self-accepting meditation. Consciously feel exactly how you’re feeling. Notice the good thought, the scared thought, the mean thought. Don’t attach to any one of them, but also don’t resist them. You will be amazed at how centered you feel after devoting just 10 minutes to accepting yourself exactly as you are right now.

Get curious about him

Most likely you have some information about your date; a few facts from his online profile, tidbits from the colleague who set you up or snippets from your brief convo at the work party. Instead of wasting your time stressfully wondering if he is going to be interested in you, ponder what you’re curious about in his life. Make a short list of things that you are genuinely intrigued to delve into over dinner. Write them in your cell phone notes if you’re afraid you’ll forget. Then when you sit down across from him, instead of stressing about yourself, use that inspiration to kick off an engaging and dynamic conversation you are both fully engaged in.

Set an intention for the evening

Just because it’s date night doesn’t mean you throw your inner evolution to the wind! Just like you would set an intention at the beginning of a yoga class or before heading into an interview, set one for your evening out. If you are a sloucher, intend to stand tall. If you normally hide your strong opinions about the situation in Syria, intend to bring it up. Turn your date into a place to practice overcoming old habits and becoming the next best you. By turning date night into a project for inner expansion, your focus will be honed toward becoming a bigger, fuller, truer version of yourself instead of slipping back into patterns of low self-esteem.

Let go of expectations

The odds are that your date is not the person you’re going to be with forever and ever until the end of time. Not to bum you out; it’s just a fact. So while you are curling your lashes and pulling up your pantyhose, let your high hopes and desperate dreams slip away. You actually have no idea what’s going to happen. That’s the fun of it. You are stepping out into an adventure that could go a million different directions. The feather in your cap of self-confidence for the evening is complete non-attachment to the outcome of the night. By deciding to not control a darn thing or endeavor to make it all go a certain way, you will free yourself to be real, true, open and authentic. This is what will actually make you undeniably irresistible and unshakably confident.

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