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How to get a life (so you can get a boyfriend)

Laurel House is a Dating Coach, Flirting Expert, and MTV’s MADE “It Girl” Coach. She just completed her 5th book- "Screwing The Rules: The No Games Guide to Love."

When it comes to relationships, two halves do not make a whole. One of the sexiest things a woman can be is interesting.

busy woman

Photo credit: Hero Images/Digital Vision/Getty Images

The last thing you want to be is half of a whole. Because that translates to an incomplete person. And when it comes to relationships, two halves do not make a whole. They add up to an unhealthy, codependent, needy and insecure duo. And that’s not sexy, nor does it have longevity.

Feeling not so whole? Get a life.

Here’s how:

Be busy

Don’t “pretend” to be busy. Be busy. Be independent, go out with friends, pursue hobbies and interests… have a life! One of the sexiest things a woman can be is interesting. You have experiences, opinions and a perspective that you bring to the conversation and the relationship.

Be passionate

If you are passionate about your career, your projects, your classes, your anything/something, perfect! It shows him that you have this super-passionate side and that will make him think, “if she can be that passionate about that, I can’t wait until she puts some of that passion on me!”

Be self-sufficient and autonomous

You can take care of yourself, financially and emotionally.

Become more interesting

Expand your interests, explore yourself and learn about other people and things. When you are interesting, you can contribute to high-quality conversations.

Have an opinion

But don’t just have an opinion for the sake of hearing your voice.

Share your experiences

Bring up the insight that you obtain while apart as fodder for your conversation. Share your experiences. Each time that you get out of your box and do something different, you are becoming a more layered, dynamic and therefore attractive person. Let him in on your perspective. Expand his mind and enrich his life though yours.

This isn’t to say that you should be an overly busy bee or a social butterfly. You don’t want to make it seem like, while you might not be desperate for him, you are desperate to always be out and about. This isn’t a competition as to how many friends or obligations you can juggle. This is about being a whole and content person on your own, with a life that is fulfilling. If that means spending high-quality time alone, great! Every hour of your day doesn’t need to be filled up. In fact, even every day doesn’t have to be occupied by something to do or someone to see.

More than what you bring to the table, being confident and fulfilled on your own dramatically decreases the chances that you will be needy, an instant turnoff for a guy. You don’t need him. You want him. You have lots of exciting things to fill up your day, but you choose to make the time for him because he is a priority. Not the priority, but a priority.

The idea is that without him you are complete. But life is richer together.

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