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Jane Fonda and Conan teach us it's not just about the boner

Lisa Armstrong is the mother of two grown daughters, a yoga practitioner, an educator and a long-time freelance writer who focuses on health, wellness, and historical topics that affect humanity's personal and collective well-being.

Everything you (don't) want to know

Actress, author and exercise guru Jane Fonda practically invented the fitness video. In more recent years, Fonda has become somewhat of a sexpert, with candid comments in her television and radio interviews and in her book, Prime Time, which explores living your best life including health, spirituality, and of course, sex.

Jane Fonda and Conan

Photo credit: FayesVision/WENN.com, Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

During her appearance on Conan this week, she talked about the importance of sex as you age.

This is especially true for men over 50 (Conan cautiously admitted to being 51). "If [men] aren't aging successfully in that department, you can see it. You either get it up or you don't, right? Women don't have that problem."

Honey, I took the pill

Your female spouse or lover isn't necessarily going to be all that thrilled with her man popping a pill, then driving home from work, thinking that everything will be like it was when you were decades younger, Fonda says.

Although the over-50 man may feel that all he has to do is "perform" sexually, Fonda says, and even though enhancement pills can prolong the physical aspect of sex in aging men, "nothing is worse than the pressure of feeling like you have to perform."

It's not just about the boner. Fonda's book includes an entire chapter on pleasing your sexual partner, and taking the time for that to be a realistic outcome, she says.

"One thing about aging is that the spontaneity kind of goes out the window, and you have to plan, which in itself can be exciting actually. You have to decide, 'How long from now am I gonna want to be able to perform'? And then it depends on what kind of pill you take. And then you have to factor in the foreplay [for her]," she adds.

"A lot of men think that as long as they can perform, that it's all [good]."

Bottom line: Plan the pill around the foreplay. Don't just take the pill and forget that she needs time, too.

More on sex

One-third of moms have gone years without sex
How yoga makes sex better
How to have better sex

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