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5 Things your man thinks when you say you want a vibrator

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The hard male truth about vibrators

During football or baseball season, it may not seem like your guy cares at all for you. However, if you tell him you're buying a battery-operated boyfriend, he might feel differently.
Bored woman and man watching sports | Sheknows.com
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Thinking of buying a vibrator? Go for it. But, if you're in a relationship, your honey might have some concerns. Whether he chooses to vocalize them or not, be prepared to address these questions:

1

Am I doing it wrong?

Is he? You better be prepared to answer that question. And the correct answer is always "no." We know you love your man, but sometimes he just doesn't know the right moves. Whether you want a vibrator for fun when he's gone or to get the job done when he can't, you don't want to burst his bubble.

Suggested responses:

"No way. I just thought it'd be fun to add something new. If you ask nicely, I'll let you use it on me."

"Nah, just trying to be closer to your porn star dream girl."

2

Will it replace me?

Poor guy. He loves you just as much as you love him and the last thing he wants is for B.O.B. (Battery-operated boyfriend) to take his place. Time to set his mind at ease.

Suggested responses:

"Will watching your favorite ginger porn star ever replace the real thing? Of course not."

"Just consider it your back-up on game nights."

3

Uhhh... where are you, ya know, putting it?

This could be another way of asking if it will replace them. Or they could just be curious. The right answer is probably the truth... or a good defensive strategy.

Suggested responses:

"Did you have a suggestion?"

"None of your business, buddy. What happens with the vibrator, stays with the vibrator."

"Well, it says, 'External use only.' But, if you take my car and put gas in it, clean the bathroom, take me to Cheesecake Factory for dinner, remember (and then buy) my favorite flowers and spend all evening telling me how beautiful I am... I may let you make the final decision."

4

That's hot. Are you watching porn when you use it?

Boys are so curious. We're not sure there's a wrong answer to this. They just want to get inside your mind, the same way you want inside theirs.

Suggested responses:

"Maybe. Wanna help me find a good one?"

"Maybe. How would you feel about that?" (This is sure to shut them up. You know they hate talking about feelings.)

5

Can I watch?

If you want girlfriend/fiance/wife of the year, we vote you drag this out for a couple weeks and then give in. Guys love watching girls masturbate. I know it seems weird because that's probably the last thing you want to witness. But the dudes love it. Still, if you're uncomfortable with that and he loves you, he'll understand.

Suggested responses:

"I don't know. Maybe. I may not be as sexy about it as the chick from the video."

"I guess. But, if I get nervous, will you take over?"

"You know, I really think some things should remain private."

The most important thing to remember about these conversations is that boys have fragile egos. You may be completely okay with what he does in the shower every morning, but the idea of his girl getting it on with an inanimate object may be worrisome. Put his mind at ease by reminding him that no battery is powerful enough to replace his big strong arms. Seriously. He'll eat that s*** up.

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