Krissy Brady is a women’s health + lifestyle writer who’s so out of shape, it’s like she has the innards of an 80-year-old. Instead of learning how to crochet, she decided to turn her emotional baggage into a writing career (genius, no?)...
What if your vajay-jay could talk? Would it threaten to call vag protective services on you? Would it make you feel guilty for wearing too much lace? Or would it be like that really clingy friend who doesn't understand the concept of boundaries? Personally, I'm glad this isn't possible — I can't get a word in edgewise as it is — but here's what might happen if there was a voice down yonder.
"You bought new batteries?!"
"When I said I wanted to try stirrups, this isn't exactly what I had in mind."
"OK seriously, what just happened?"
"And the Oscar goes to..."
"Oh, so that's what he meant."
"I think we should just be friends."
"Sorry, we're closed."
"You want what to come out of where?"
"It's like the Gobi Desert in here! Wait, is that a cactus?"
"I've decided to launch a solo career."
"Excuse me, how is your headache my problem?"
"Whatever. Wake me when you're done."
"I'm starting to feel like a Pez dispenser."
"Do you need a map?"
"HAHAHA, that tickles!"
"In the jungle, the mighty jungle..."
"OMG, yes! Right there! Wait, where are you going?"