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21 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

Krissy Brady is a women’s health + lifestyle writer who’s so out of shape, it’s like she has the innards of an 80-year-old. Instead of learning how to crochet, she decided to turn her emotional baggage into a writing career (genius, no?)...

What would your chatterbox say?

What if your vajay-jay could talk? Would it threaten to call vag protective services on you? Would it make you feel guilty for wearing too much lace? Or would it be like that really clingy friend who doesn't understand the concept of boundaries? Personally, I'm glad this isn't possible — I can't get a word in edgewise as it is — but here's what might happen if there was a voice down yonder.
1

"You bought new batteries?!"

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

2

"When I said I wanted to try stirrups,
this isn't exactly what I had in mind."

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

3

"OK seriously, what just happened?"

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

4

"And the Oscar goes to..."

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

5

"Oh, so that's what he meant."

6

"I think we should just be friends."

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

7

"Sorry, we're closed."

8

"You want what to come out of where?"

9

"It's like the Gobi Desert in here! Wait, is that a cactus?"

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

10

"I've decided to launch a solo career."

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

11

"Excuse me, how is your headache my problem?"

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

12

"Whatever. Wake me when you're done."

13

"I'm starting to feel like a Pez dispenser."

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

14

"Do you need a map?"

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

15

"HAHAHA, that tickles!"

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

16

"In the jungle, the mighty jungle..."

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

17

"OMG, yes! Right there! Wait, where are you going?"

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

18

"I really need to get out more."

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

19

"I need a haircut."

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

20

"Nice hat."

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

21

"What's a Brazilian?"

23 Things your vajay-jay would say if it could talk

More advice for down yonder

Best sex positions for guaranteed happy girly parts
Self-lovin' sex positions
What you need to know about lubricant

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