An exclusive survey conducted by Family Circle magazine asked moms to share everything from how often they drink alcohol to how they lose weight to how often they have sex (or, don't have sex). The results completely surprised us, especially when it came to sex.
We understand that having sex on an even semi-regular basis can be hard with kids (of any age) in the house (I should know; I currently have two under two). But nurturing your relationship with your husband is important, too, for both your marriage and your family.
According to Newsweek magazine, 15 to 20 percent of couples are in sexless marriages. A sexless marriage is defined as having sex fewer than 10 times per year.
Clearly, married couples are extremely different now than they were decades back. Lori Gottlieb, who wrote The New York Times' Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?, discusses how today, the majority of marriages have both spouses working and both spouses contributing to household chores. This egalitarian way of going about a marriage may have “an unexpectedly negative impact on these couples' sex lives.”
“The greater the husband's share of masculine chores compared with feminine ones, the greater his wife's reported sexual satisfaction,” Gottlieb states. And what about those that are least likely to get divorced? A study conducted by Lynn Prince Cooke found that “the predicted risk of divorce is lowest when the husband does 40 percent of the housework and the wife earns 40 percent on the income.”
One could conclude that you're less likely to get divorced if your husband helps with household chores but apparently if he doesn't do more masculine chores than feminine chores, you're less likely to have sexual satisfaction. So maybe sexless marriages are more prevalent today because of our evolving roles in the home and at work but either way, study after study shows the importance that sex has in marriage. It's not simply the icing on the cake, it's a main ingredient.
Ladies, let's agree to start having more sex and better sex.
Sure, men love sex for obvious reasons, but let's focus on what it can do for us.
For starters, you'll feel much less stressed. Having sex and being intimate with your loved one releases those feel-good hormones that make for a healthier, happier you.
Not only will sex make you happier, it also boosts your immune system, makes your skin glow, helps reduce pain (like headaches), improves your relationship and helps you sleep. As far as the downsides, well, we can't think of any. Sex is a great form of exercise and may just give you that second boost you need.
We know all the reasons in the book not to have sex. We're too tired, too busy, too stressed, have a headache, aren't in the mood, it's the last thing on our mind. So, how can we stop making excuses and start making it a priority?
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