Sad woman looking out window

Let bygones be bygones

Being pissed off at your ex can be extremely motivating. It can drive you back to school to make more money, to lose the excess weight you never could before and to take control of your life in ways you never imagined. But at the end of the day resentment is still resentment which makes it a false promise. It will always have its roots in the somebody that did you wrong rather than in the somebody who can do you right. If you want to live and love again, then you will have to give the anger up and this is the message of the Sun/Neptune trine on Oct. 25. It's time to lose that grudge and to let bygones be bygones.


ARIES (March 20 – April 18)

You prefer to pursue rather than to be pursued. As a child of Mars you tend to wear the pants in the relationship and you like bowling guys over with your excitement, zeal and sex appeal. This week, however, you will find yourself in the position where you are the object of desire. It's quite a role reversal for you and you'll probably be uncomfortable with it at first, but give it a chance. You might enjoy being wined and dined and watching him pick up the check for a change.


TAURUS (April 19 – May 19)

He's not going to change. And this isn't because he's impossibly strong-willed, stubborn or clueless. It's because he's happy with who he is and he doesn't see anything wrong with that. The question then becomes do you like what you see? If you don't, then you would be much happier with someone else. People don't get together in relationships to police each other's behavior. They get together because they're attracted to one another and see themselves as stronger together than they would be apart. The linchpin to this is acceptance.


GEMINI (May 20 – June 19)

Things are starting to get pretty intense between you and your lover and you may even wonder if you're in too deep. Being a Gemini you'll start looking for the emergency exits and escape clauses. And that's OK if it makes you feel secure. Geminis like to keep their options open. However, you are involved in a very real process where you are bonding with this person on a very deep and profound level. Trust in that and you will experience the kind of intimacy that has eluded you for years.


CANCER (June 20 – July 21)

This week you will have to make some unpopular decisions that won't go over well with loved ones. You may have to cut off funds, pull the plug on a venture that's going nowhere fast or convert the household to a gluten-free diet. What's vexing is that everyone knows you're right, but don't expect any cooperation, respect or support for it. Instead you will be greeted with a chorus of protest on the 26th. Rest assured that those fighting you now will praise you later for bringing them to heel.


LEO (July 22 – Aug. 21)

Emotional wounds will refresh themselves every time you revisit them. This can become a repetitive cycle if you're not careful and it can prevent you from experiencing the kind of love and intimacy you crave. On Oct. 25 you will have to ask yourself if it's better to be hurt or to be healed. It's a tough question and as long as you identify with the pain, then there will be no gain. The miracle of forgiveness lies in its power to erase the grip that past grievances hold over you.


VIRGO (Aug. 22 – Sept. 21)

You need to set boundaries this week. You tried hinting but he just isn't getting it. Whether it's texting in bed, hanging out with his ex or bringing his kids along on your date unannounced — it's abundantly clear that he isn't respecting your private time together. There are times when you have to stake out your territory before you get overrun and this is one of those times. He's bound to be upset (and you need to allow for that) but it will be worth it in the long run.


LIBRA (Sept. 22 – Oct. 21)

There are two sides to every story and Mercury retrograde in Scorpio (Oct. 21 – Nov. 10) insists that you take responsibility for yours. For instance, is your partner too controlling because he's domineering or is he controlling because you refuse to take responsibility for your decisions? Is your partner naturally jealous or is he jealous because you keep "innocently" flirting with other men? Unflattering truths are bound to come out, but it's better to own them and to talk about them than to dump all the negatives on his plate.


SCORPIO (Oct. 22 – Nov. 20)

Scorpios are always afraid of loving too much and in truth you do. Is it possible to dial down the passion or to parcel out your affection? No. This is why it's so important for you to find the right partner. Now this person doesn't have to be as intense as you, but he has to get where you're coming from emotionally. The stars show that you are either with this person now or you soon will be. The next step is to lower your defenses and to let him in.


SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 21 – Dec. 20)

Sagittarius is probably one of the most guileless signs of the zodiac. One might even say naive. You fall in love easily and this is something you need to keep tabs on during this time that the sun is moving through the part of your solar chart that pertains to self-undoing (Oct. 22 – Nov. 20). Rose-colored glasses may protect against UV rays, but you will want to make sure that you're on the same emotional page as the fellow you're seeing. You don't want to be telling yourself any stories right now.


CAPRICORN (Dec. 21 – Jan. 18)

You're not very good at deciphering men's signals. You often think that if a man is flirting with you, then it must be because he's had too much to drink or he's making a play for your girlfriend. Thankfully you have a buddy on call who can help you interpret the guy-speak. He may be a co-worker, a gym friend or somebody in your class. Listen to his advice and you'll find the fellow who's right for you. What makes him such an expert? Maybe it's because he's secretly into you.


AQUARIUS (Jan. 19 – Feb. 17)

"Need" is a four letter word, but you don't have to treat it like an obscene one. Zodiac signs deal with needs differently. Some wallow in them while others see needs as a weakness. You equate need with selfishness which is why you distance yourself from yours. Right now there is a lot of water energy coursing through your horoscope. This will do a lot to soften you and to make you more intimate. Don't be shy about expressing your needs. You'll find that your lover or spouse is very receptive.


PISCES (Feb. 18 – March 19)

You're very psychic now. Actually you're pretty psychic anyway, but this week's Sun/Neptune trine makes you even more ESP friendly. The plus side is that you can tell who's into you and who's not. Moreover the sun in Scorpio allows you to target the guy who's going to rock your world. Downside? You could pick up on secret stuff about the fellow you're seeing, but it could be stuff that he doesn't feel like discussing. You need to respect his right to disclose if — and when — he feels like it.

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