Rein In Your Desire
There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that you're attracted to a married man. What matters is how you manage your attraction.
Attraction is a funny thing. Because we are all sexual beings, we find ourselves feeling attracted to other people based upon our tastes, feelings and current state of mind. Here's what you need to know to manage your attraction to a married man, so you don't end up doing something you regret.
Acknowledge your feelings
First of all, there's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling attracted to a married man. If he's handsome and charming, then your body and mind will react with feelings of desire. It's not wrong — it's just part of being a woman. Go ahead and acknowledge to yourself (not him!) that you have a crush on him. If you stop denying your attraction and remove your internal shame from the picture, then you're less likely to have negative feelings about yourself. You're also less likely to obsess about him if you simply acknowledge that you have desire, which will allow the feelings to come and go.
It may also be useful to acknowledge your feelings to a trusted friend. Your friend can check in on you and ask questions that hold you accountable.
Control your fantasies
Fantasies may seem harmless, but they can prove powerful and intoxicating if you return to them over and over again. If you're starting to fantasize about your married crush, remember:
Try to control your fantasy life and make a personal rule that you will not fantasize about your married crush. This alone will help you control your attraction and reduce the likelihood that you'll act on your feelings.
Manage your flirting
Likewise, "harmless" flirting can quickly escalate into emotional intimacy if it goes unchecked. Emotional intimacy, in turn, can become a starting point for a physical affair. Even if you enjoy a little bit of banter with your married crush, here are some ground rules so you can manage your flirting:
Play mind games with yourself
If all else fails, employ mind games to deescalate your feelings for your married crush. A few simple tricks can prove surprisingly effective for controlling your passions:
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