Talk to your partner! Tell him that he will not be replaced by a toy nor is he an incompetent lover. An object is not a substitute for a real person. You deserve pleasure just as much as he does, and a vibrator is just a device to help you achieve it. Plus, it's a great way to add some variety in the bedroom!
Don't bring an intimidating vibrator into the bedroom. Start small and then work your way up to something bigger and bolder.
Take your time browsing through the plethora of toys out there, with the rule that nothing is off limits, as you may surprise yourselves in what arouses your curiosities. Go to sites that are really great in providing educational/expert information with their toys, like Babeland, Good Vibrations and the Sinclair Institute. If there is no online option to chat with a live salesperson, go ahead and trek to your nearest quality sex toy shop to learn and/or see more.
"It doesn't hurt to buy a sex toy book, which can guide you with all of your options and how to use them safely while maximizing pleasure," says Astroglide's Sexual Health and Wellness Ambassador and Sex Expert, Dr. Yvonne Fulbright.
"Vibrators are always great for beginners because they’re not only simple and easy to use, but they’re versatile and can create different sensations for different people based on what speed is used and where you put it," says Dr. Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist & SHRINK WRAP media commentator. Also, they're great for self-pleasure as well as for being pleasured by your partner. For couples interested in using toys in their sex lives: Have fun! Be open to discovery and trying new things, and be OK with the fact that your partner may not enjoy it and you might have to try something else that you both enjoy.
"No matter what, for a number of toys, the best and easiest use involves at least a couple of drops of lubricant for comfort," says Fulbright. If you've never used lube before, be sure to add a variety pack to your shopping cart so that you can have a ball learning which type of lube is your favorite!
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