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Why you're not getting any dates

Jessica Padykula is a freelance writer and editor in Toronto, Canada covering a wide range of  topics for several online lifestyle publications. She is a regular contributor for SheKnows, covering travel, style, relationships, health and...

Dating: What you're doing wrong

Watching friend after friend hook up and then get engaged while you can't seem to get a phone number let alone a dinner date? There could be many reasons for that and we're sharing some surprising reasons you aren't having any luck in the dating world.
Lonley woman sitting on bench

We got some dating insight from Kailen Rosenberg, celebrity matchmaker, relationship expert and author of Real Love, Right Now: A Celebrity Love Architect's Thirty-Day Blueprint for Finding Your Soul Mate — and So Much More!

1

You're not aware of or open to opportunities around you

There is no perfect time or place to meet the right person, and if you think there is, or you're waiting for what you see as an "ideal" opportunity, you could be missing out. “Many singles believe that there is only a certain place or time that they can meet their soul mate, when in fact it can happen anytime and anywhere,” affirms Rosenberg. “So the next time you're pumping gas, standing in line at a coffee shop, getting groceries or walking down the street, know that your soul mate could be right there, but not if you are not open to it.”

2

You appear unavailable

“I've had many clients who were so called ‘perfect' according to societal standards, who couldn't get a date if their life depended on it,” says Rosenberg. Why? She explains that they were unknowingly repelling potential partners with a negative attitude, and by appearing unapproachable (e.g., not smiling, looking angry). Want to get a date? Turn that frown upside down. “Regardless of who you are or what you look like, always make sure to have a smile in your thoughts and a genuine smile on your face, and the opportunity for love will come knocking.”

3

You're scared of getting hurt again

We all know a broken heart can take months or even years to heal, but don't let past pain stand in the way of your dating life. “Many people have been so wounded by love that they are sabotaging every opportunity for love without being aware,” explains Rosenberg. “Even if they had the chance at a new date every day, they would find a way to dismiss it and turn it away.” Avoid sabotaging your chances of love by being open to connecting with someone new.

4

You're not dressing the part

Many singles dress in a way that might not be flattering or that doesn't show off their best features. “This can be done through oversized clothing, wearing only black with the mindset of a slimming effect or being just plain stuck in the glory days of high school where their makeup and hair hasn't changed since 1983,” Rosenberg says. If you're unsure whether your look is flattering and up-to-date, consult a friend who you know will be honest — and take her advice.

5

You talk too much on dates

Not getting second dates after the first one? One of the number one complaints Rosenberg gets from singles with regard to their dating experience is that the other person on the date doesn't know when to stop talking. “Give the other person a chance to speak and keep in mind that this is a chance for each of you to find out whether or not this could be the person you are meant to spend your life with,” she advises. Keep the conversation balanced in order for both of you to get a chance to be the listener and the person talking.

6

You're too busy and you make no time for love

If you can't find a date, think about whether you're making any time for dating. “Singles complain to me all the time, adamantly stating that they are too busy and they have no time to find love — hence the reason for hiring me. Yet, when matched, I realize that these specific people also make no time for dating,” notes Rosenberg. “The bottom line is with everything that's important to you, find the time and make yourself available because in life you never know when our time is going to come to an end.”

More about dating

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How a lack of sleep can hurt your relationship
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