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How to make ourselves more attractive to date

Aly Walansky is a freelance writer and editor based in New York City. She lives with her two Shorkie-Tzus, Scarlette and Max, and a display of pink polka-dot-themed home decor -- not to mention a selection of flavored vodka. Check out he...

(Without being easy)

Being attractive to a man in today's high-supply sexual economy means far more than being sexually attractive.

(Without being easy)

(Without being easy)

Being attractive to a man in today's high-supply sexual economy means far more than being sexually attractive.


"These days, sex is cheap. A well-worded text can lead to some canoodling, which makes dating successfully even harder than ever. Being different means being the one to win the race," says Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., author of The 30-Day Love Detox (RODALE; April 23, 2013) and resident expert at

Famous evolutionary psychologist David Buss, Ph.D., says the only way to compete successfully for desirable men is by embodying what men want. "If women are seeking a long-term mate, they need to embody what men want in a long-term mate. Although attractiveness is important, other qualities include loyalty, fidelity, kindness, intelligence, dependability and good health. These are all qualities that are under women's control, at least to some degree."

Aspire (don't despair!)

As boring as it may seem, your best odds of success will come when you start to hang out with happy couples. "Sixty percent of married couples meet through a married friend. Marriage is like a born-again religion!" says Dr. Buss. Once couples have marital bliss, you are compelled to share it. I must warn you though, it will take some time and you may feel like the third or fifth wheel at a few dinner tables, but before long, one of those married women will find a dude at her office for you.

Make the effort

(Without being easy)

Every woman can and should make herself more physically attractive if she wants to catch a prince. Yes, life isn't fair, but men are visual and grow up on images of Barbie and beer ads, says Dr. Carole Lieberman, M.D., media psychiatrist and author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn their Secrets and Bad Boys: Why We Love Them, How to Love with Them, And When to Leave Them. No matter how close you come to fitting that description, you can certainly do better — starting with a warm smile that lights up your face.

Good grooming is essential. It tells a guy how much you value yourself. Nails, hair, makeup, clean clothes and so on — can all do you in if they're not polished. Also, "Don't dress like a tramp, but show off your best assets — one at a time. Wear a conversation starter, such as a hat or a T-shirt with an intriguing saying or logo on it. Guys need help starting up a conversation," says Dr. Lieberman.

Play it smart

Don't seem desperate and hungry for a man — even if you are. Have an active social life with friends. This tells him you're not just waiting around for the one," says Dr. Lieberman.


More dating advice

Moving in with him: How not to lose your s*** over the small stuff
Love horoscopes: What to expect in 2013
The day I learned my boyfriend was on

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