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What do men look for in women?

Zlata is a freelance writer covering a wide range of topics for several online publications. She is a regular contributor for SheKnows, covering love, sex, relationships, beauty and travel. This full-time publicist and all-the-time comed...

We asked the guys!

There are hundreds of self-help books that teach women how to act to get a man to like her more. But what is it that initially draws a man to a woman? I asked. They answered.

Happy laughing couple

If you were to take a poll of what women want in a man and vice versa, you'd be surprised at how similar both men's and women's answers are. The difference is in their expressions. It's really been an amazing experience combing through some of these responses. Here are the best ones:

What men want

  • "A lady in the street, but a freak in the bed."  - a lawyer
  • "A woman who is intelligent without arrogance, funny without vulgarity, compassionate without being maudlin and beautiful without the stain of vanity. Also, there is little that is more repugnant than a woman who reeks of entitlement." - Dan, an author
  • "1. Unconditional sex 2. A nag-free relationship. 3. Physical beauty." - Anthony from Los Angeles
  • "As a man, what I look for in a woman is compatibility. The most important thing to me is that there be spiritual compatibility from the perspective of dating someone that has a strong faith in God as I do. There must also be some mental compatibility so that we can communicate on similar topics we both enjoy. And lastly, there must be some physical attraction. I want to be able to look at the individual and enjoy what I am beholding through my eye gate." (Yes, this man just wrote "eye gate") - an author
  • "Initially, there has to be some physical attraction -- any guy who says otherwise is lying. It's the way our brains are wired. That being said, we all like different things. Some like big butts, some like big bellies and some like big boobs. As far as the physical thing goes, a great smile, great teeth, nice hair, etc. are all as equally important as any of the aforementioned items. For me, a great personality can override another physical attribute, but don't confuse that to mean that a great personality means you don't need to be attractive at all. Sexually, I don't care about experience -- you can be trained. If someone is willing to learn and is inexperienced, that's fine. If you are too experienced, you better hide some of it, or I'll wonder if that's your job. Finally, she better not have an entitlement attitude. I will freely give things and stuff and meals, but the day she stops saying thanks and thinks she 'deserves' these things, she'll be gone." - Randy
  • "I think men do initially notice a woman's look. But after that, men look for a sense of humor, someone who has a similar intelligence to them and also someone who has a streak of independence as most men hate to be smothered." - Keith
  • "1. Non-smoking/non-drug taking (bonus for non-drinking but not a deal-breaker). 2. Attractive face/eyes (sure, large breasts are nice, but you can't have a dinner conversation with them!) 3. Shapely figure/size -- preferably hourglass or buxom, not skinny nor fat (weight no more than mine). 4. Personality -- an individual, with a will of her own plus a sense of humor to appreciate my constant silly jokes. 5. Reasonable intelligence/education -- able to converse on various subjects. High IQ an extra turn-on but not necessary; I just can't stand the "dumb blonde" stereotype. 6. No kids/don't want kids. 7. Dark hair/eyes. 8. A job/self-sufficiency." - Mike in advertising
  • When he was younger, Philip had practically no requirements for women, just reasonably attractive and willing to have sex with him. With age, comes maturity. Now, in no particular order, here are his requirements: "Intelligent, attractive, takes care of herself, self-confident, not bitchy, knows what she wants, fun to converse with, great sense of humor, it's the best if she's musically savvy, meaning classical music -- and even better if she's a musician herself!" - Philip, certified health coach

So... what do you think, ladies?!

More on what guys want

How to get him to open up
Keep your relationship sexy and strong
Man secrets revealed

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