I know you're going to hate me for even suggesting this, but in order to feel better, you need to move. A little bit of exercise goes a long way when you've recently booked an extended stay at Heartbreak Hotel. It seems nearly impossible to get out of bed, but if you can set a goal for yourself for the next four weeks to go to yoga, go for a walk on the beach, a light jog with a friend or anything three times a week that gets your endorphins pumping, then you will be so much better off than you were even the day before. Staying active (even if it's just a stroll to the local coffee shop to pick up your vanilla latte) is going to be a key component to getting you on the road to happy town. When we exercise regularly, we flush out toxins and negativity, get clarity, feel healthier, and well… wind up with a hot bod (which doesn't hurt… especially when you just so happen to run into your ex the next month).
Stop analyzing why, how, if only, etc. and step outside yourself and focus on other people. A wise mentor of mine once told me, "The more you give to other people, the less time you have to think about yourself." When you are going through a bad breakup, it is easy to wallow and get caught up in you — counter this by volunteering at a local kids' hospital, soup kitchen or even an animal shelter (those furry friends have a way of making people feel so special). Life is so short and it is always a great eye-opener to meet new people with new stories to learn from. Who knows? You may just impact their lives and be used in ways bigger than you imagined. Focus on others and you'll forget about what's his name in no time.
I'm a firm believer in spicing up your look right after a breakup — anything that makes you feel good, do it. Brighten your hair color, get your makeup professionally done, get that expensive facial and pamper yourself like there's no tomorrow. Although, I will advise, if you are planning a trip to the salon post-breakup, bring a friend. The salon is a scary place when you are emotionally unstable and we don't want you making any drastic decisions that you will end up regretting (like getting the Posh bob with blunt bangs — yep, I did that…. right after a breakup and it was not cute). Learn from my mistakes, please… no one but the Spice Girl herself looks good with that bob. Give yourself a mini makeover and enjoy looking good. I promise you will feel better when you look a little better!
Grab your girlfriends at least once a week and meet up for a vino night, a happening dinner, etc. and get social! Make yourself do it, even if you don't feel like it. Your girls are your personal therapists, confidants and partners in crime — use them in your time of need. They know you need to vent, but they also know you might need to be cut off (in a healthy way) from going on and on and on about the recent ex. We love our friends because they are there for us when we need a weekend in Vegas or a night in watching a Matthew McConaughey movie. Don't be shy about being honest with them and letting them know you are in a fragile state and you need them. Best friends are medicine for our souls. During this holiday season, make them your plus one, do a girls' night out for New Year's Eve and try your best to just enjoy the time you get to spend with your ladies!
Think of this breakup as an opportunity to grow and ultimately become the person you were meant to be. Every situation like this is just a chance for you to learn a lesson. We are meant to take away something from every person we date. Whether he taught you how to be a better listener, fight for what you believe in, have more patience or give you a better understanding of what you don't want in a man, the bottom line is: It was not all for naught. The relationship served a purpose in your life and your role now, during this season of giving, is to make sense of what that meaning is and then use that to give back to others. The more you grow into yourself, the better you will be as a friend, sister, girlfriend, wife and mother in the long run. Have a grateful mindset, focus on others, get moving, and sooner rather than later, you will be off to a fabulous 2012!
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