When He's Already A Dad
As single women get older, they may have to come to terms with the fact that when they do meet a special someone, he may already have a child or children. Since you may not have children of your own, it can add a few more challenges to the relationship. If you see a future with a dad that comes along with a “mini me,” here are a few things to keep in mind as you date.
Do not make him choose between you and his child
There may be times when you are frustrated that he has a child to the degree that you get downright angry about it. That is a fair emotion because you are only human and you need love too. There is however one problem. If he is a good dad, his child will come first in many circumstances if not all circumstances. This can be a tough place to be in because you love him for the dedicated father that he is, but you always want attention. Make sure you never try to make him choose between you and his child. Not only will you lose that battle, but he will never look at you the same. That is not to say you should be a doormat if it is so extreme that you feel miserable. To most men and women, the love of their life is their child.
Be the cool girlfriend
Do not feel weird about your place in the child's life. As a matter of fact, you are in the best position. You can be the cool girlfriend if you play your cards right. Since you are not the child's mother, your role is to be a friend, mentor and confidant. Find out what his child likes and serve it up. You will win serious brownie points. All men love to see their child smile, so when and where you can make that happen, you score big.
Listen to find out what he wants out of a relationship
There is a reason why you are now in his life and the baby mama is not. When he starts to share those things about the past, listen! You want to have a future with him. There is no reason why you have to repeat those same mistakes. When you listen to him, you can truly please your partner which is your intent in the first place. Be his best friend.
Plans can be canceled at the last minute, deal with it
You and your man have a hot date night planned when all of a sudden, the kid comes along with something that cancels the whole night. It can and will happen. The question is what are you going to do? No way can you nag and complain. You have to find a way to understand. If this is a consistent battle, find other ways to make up for it. Maybe the two of you do not have big pre-planned date nights; maybe instead you two play it more carefree which can also be fun if you change your perspective.
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