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Surviving the breakup blues

Vicki Clinebell majored in journalism at the University of Colorado, and headed an advertising agency before beginning a long career in broadcasting, spanning production and copywriting to sales and management for an ABC affiliate statio...

Tips for moving on

Sorrow from a failed relationship is natural, but there are healing strategies you can follow to survive the blues when you've broken up.

hot to move on from your breakup

Your relationship ended and you feel sad and alone: it's a bad case of the break-up blues. Now is the time to have a strategy that will help you work through your grief, anger and regret to get to a better day. What started with joy and excitement has ended with your heart wounded. Here are some tips that can help you minimize the anguish, properly mourn the end of the relationship and be able to move ahead.

expect the sadness

It's ok, and normal to be sad at the end of a relationship. You're faced with moving forward in your life without a person you cared deeply about. Understandably, you'll feel emotionally down in the first weeks after a break-up.

get support

Figure out who will be your support network as you struggle through the ups and downs following your break-up. Family and friends who truly care for you will be there to listen as you talk things through, and that can really help. Try to avoid leaning too heavily on any one person - it's better to lean a little on several people then to cover the same ground repeatedly with just one friend. You'll get the support you need - and different insights and advice - from each member of your posse of supporters.

clean it out

Get a box and pack away anything left behind by your former mate. Do the same with any mementos - pictures, love letters, gifts - that have a strong connection to him. Return his things (have them sent!) and store away your memory box so the items won't be a constant reminder of what you shared together. Clear out both your home and office of these items, and delete your ex from your email contacts and cell phone. You must be diligent about removing reminders that can hurt you and shatter your recovery. It's an important step to take in moving on with your life.

live and learn

As you get more distance from this past relationship spend some time thinking about where and how it failed. What have you learned? You made an emotional investment in something that didn't last, but you have an opportunity now to learn from it. What would you do differently to give a new relationship a better chance for success?

Time and distance will help with your sorrow, and support from friends will comfort you. Remember that there will be brighter days ahead.

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