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How often are couples getting frisky nowadays?

Newlywed, new mom and first-time home buyer, Sarah is currently playing out her exciting life in Phoenix, Arizona. She recently gave up her job in finance to stay at home with her baby girl, who between bath time and feeding time, keeps ...

Sex by the numbers

How often are you doing it? And, more importantly, are both you and your partner happy with that number?
Married couple having sex

Couples nowadays can't help but wonder if they're average, above average or below average when it comes to how often they have sex. Unfortunately, there is no distinct “average.” According to some studies, you may be above average, some below and some right on par.

Every person and every couple is different, which is why you should never compare your sex life to someone else's. Some couples have young children, some have opposite work schedules, some have very high sex drives and others have low ones. Health, age and lifestyles (such as stress) all come into play, as well.

Most studies done on how often couples have sex yield different results. Harry Fisher, M.D., found that married couples under the age of 30 average about twice per week and married couples between the ages of 50-59 average about once per week. Typically, sex starts out high for most couples and slowly we fall into a routine, get busy, have kids and the sex dwindles. Though sex is still important, it's not the only thing the relationship consists of anymore. We conducted our own survey and our results were pretty similar. Take a look for yourself!

How often couples have sex

Married 11 years, one son and currently having sex about five times per week. This is definitely an ‘upswing' for us! – Tiffany

Newly engaged and having sex five times per week! – Katie

My lady and I have been together four years and have both been previously married. Perhaps we're making up for lost time, but we average eight to 10 times per week. – Steve

Married three years and sex is a priority for both of us. We average three times per week. – Sharon

We are intimate six times per month and have been together two years. – Lacey

Together 12 years, married for eight of them and currently have sex once a week. – Michelle

As you can see, no two couples are exactly the same. Some say sex is like chocolate. Chocolate is good, really good, but if you eat it every day, it tends to lose its appeal. To some, though, the more they eat chocolate, the more they crave it — hence the saying ‘sex begets sex.'

How often couples would like to have sex

We have sex once every two weeks, but ideally I would have sex once every two days! – Jessica

We've been together for one year and have sex once a week. This is too low for me — I'd prefer twice a week minimum and three times during stressful weeks! – Amy

I've been in a relationship for 10 months now and we have sex every few days. I am happy with this frequency! – Hayley

We've been married five years and have sex once a week or so. For me, I'd like it every day. – Pamela

Married five years and have sex once a week. I'm happy with this but would prefer if we spiced things up more by being more adventurous. – Jennifer

I've been married 31 years and we have sex three times a week still! I'm good with that number. – Erin

We have sex once a week and I like that. If it were more often, it wouldn't feel as special. – Laura

Check out Dr. Laura Berman's series on how to spice up your sex life here >>

How often couples have sex is all over the map. In order to have a satisfying sex life, ask yourself how often you would like to be intimate and what that entails (for example, is a quickie fine or do you want the whole shebang?). Next, ask your partner the same question. Be open with each other and come to an agreement you're both satisfied with. Anne, married six years and mother of one, loves that she and her husband never reject each other and speak openly regarding their needs. Though they don't have sex daily, they both know their needs will be met if one of them gets the urge!

Tell us

How often are you having sex? And more importantly, are you happy with that amount? Share in the comments below!

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