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Survey says sex on the first date isn't as bad as we think

Meagan Morris is an entertainment and lifestyle journalist living in New York City. In addition to SheKnows, Morris contributes to many publications including The New York Times, Yahoo! News, PopEater, NBC New York and Spinner. Follow he...

Men & women talk first-date sex

A new survey conducted by Cosmopolitan finds that most of us think first-date sex is totally acceptable.
Couple having sex

Sex
on the
first date

A new survey conducted by Cosmopolitan finds that most of us think first-date sex is totally acceptable.

How long do you wait in a new relationship before having sex? It's a deeply personal decision — some people think waiting until marriage is the right choice, while others see no problem with having sex on the first date.

A new Cosmopolitan magazine survey of 1,000 people ages 18 to 35 found that 38.6 percent of women and 44.4 percent of men copped to having sex on the first date. Also, 44.5 percent of women — and 58.6 percent of men — said they know couples who started their relationship by having sex on the first date.

Our attitudes about first-date sex might be changing, but the Cosmo survey shows that women still experience a serious stigma for getting between the sheets on date one. According to the results, 82.6 percent of women believe men think less of a woman who has sex on the first date. Another 63.5 percent of women said that at some point, they've wanted to have sex on the first date but didn't go through with it because they didn't want the guy to get the wrong idea.

The survey shows it's (mostly) not true: Over 67 percent of guys polled said they "absolutely don't" think less of a woman if she gets into bed on the first date.

"If there's chemistry, there's chemistry, and from the guy's perspective, it doesn't really matter if we hook up on date one or date seven," Jeff Wilser, co-author of It's Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date: And Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked, told Cosmo.

Our question: What's up with the other 33 percent? Get with it, guys. Seriously.

Ultimately, a romp between the sheets should be a decision between you and your partner. If you both agree to it, have fun!

"In this day and age, more people recognize sex as an important component of a successful relationship, not something to be ashamed of," Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., a social psychologist at Harvard who studies relationships and sexuality, told Cosmo. "For those people, it's important to establish sexual compatibility early on, and having sex on the first date may be the right move for them."

And if you're not sure about having sex on the first date? Listen to your instincts — and never feel pressured to go through with sex if you're not ready.

Tell us

How do you feel about having sex on the first date?

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