In any relationship, communication is key. A main cause of divorce in the United States is money — and it’s not always basic issues like he’s a spender, you’re a saver. The issues are bigger — and they include gambling problems, lying about purchases or control over money.
We asked real women to share who handles the finances in their households and if it works for them. What they have to say may shock you!
“My husband and I have been married 40 years. When we first got married, I did the finances, but it didn't work out because he had his own business and his money came in irregularly, while I got paid once a month. After six years, he took over the bill paying and I took over doing the income taxes. We don't do either of them together, but we have capitalized on our strengths and are interdependent on each other. During our marriage, he started a couple of businesses and so did I, so for the past 10 years, we have banked at separate banks and we have shared responsibility for paying certain payments. Some are his and some are mine. Again, we work separately, but we are interdependent, and it works.”
“I handle all the finances. We met in 2006 and moved in together in 2007. We kept everything separate but opened a joint bank account. We would equally put money into it. We kept things separate and like that till I had gotten laid off and we had to live on my husband's disability. I have always been good with money. My husband has never complained and has always trusted me with handling money. He does have access to everything but I am the one who handles the bills, deposits, and knows all there is to know about our finances.”
“I handle the finances in our house because it is extremely important — with two self-employed individuals — to know to the penny how much money is available, when each bill is due, and assign/file into categories to make the end of the year (tax time) so much easier. I learned a long time ago that my husband actually believed the balance shown at the ATM. Wrong! So now he carries one credit card, that I track and pay throughout the month, as if he's writing checks. The "too many cooks" philosophy applied to us, so we eliminated one of the cooks!”
“I am 31 years old, married two years, have an 18-month-old and a second baby due in September. I have always handled the finances in my relationship. When my husband and I started dating, it was important to me that we split all expenses and that we wouldn't co-mingle funds. When I realized that he was the man I would marry, I agreed to start a joint checking account, but I told him I would take care of managing everything. Luckily, my husband was completely okay with letting me handle it all. All money that comes into the household gets put into my detailed spreadsheet and is allocated to specific expenses. My husband doesn't really know in detail what our expenses are and how our paychecks are allocated — thankfully, he trusts me completely to make sure everything is taken care of and will even ask me to make sure he can make a bigger purchase so he doesn't mess up my 'system.'”
Based on our results, it looks like the best system is to have one person handle the finances, but involve the other person if they wish to be involved.
Who handles the finances in your household? Share in the comments below!
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