It sounds great, right? Not if the guilty person is practicing good hygiene at her desk. You know the one. Cutting her fingernails, flossing her teeth, spraying pungent perfume, cleaning her ears… Gross. No one wants to see that.
She talks on her cellphone all day. Or even worse, she's on her office line. She speaks loudly, dials long-distance relatives, catches up with old friends — on work time. Look, Lady. We don't all love to hear about your life.
This is the person who seriously invades your personal space. They try to hug you hello each morning, high-five at every opportunity, hover over your shoulders while you work and get within inches of your face when talking to you.
The Sicko is always coughing and sneezing all over the place without covering their mouth. And they never wash or sanitize their hands. We don't want to catch that disease!
Plain and simple, they eat everyone's food. Then, they try to hide the evidence and, if they get caught, they pretend they thought it was their own.
Instead of actually fixing any office issue, they just stick notes everywhere. “The printer is out of ink,” “Wash your dirty dishes,” “Out of order.” Thanks for the memo.
When it's lunchtime, it's time to open the windows. They cook the smelliest food possible in the microwave, from tuna to eggs and asparagus, without apology.
They're always asking for money. Sorry, but it gets annoying. From Girl Scout cookies to magazine subscriptions and funding a charity-sponsored marathon, enough is enough.
They show up late because they're hung over and leave early all the time to catch happy hour. You even catch them mixing a drink with the ill-hidden bottles of booze in the desk drawer. Unless you work at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, it's totally inappropriate.
Hoarding office supplies, making kitchen messes, pouting and never replacing the toilet paper roll is their protocol. You've even witnessed them throwing a fit when they didn't get the desk they wanted.
Obviously this entails sucking up to the boss, working late hours when it's not remotely necessary and making sure to always mention when credit is due — to themselves.
Cracking inappropriate jokes, commenting on your wardrobe, hitting on co-workers and unabashedly giving everyone the once-over seems to be a pastime for this creep.
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