You are driving too fast!

Your question:

Is there a polite way to tell a colleague with whom I carpool that he drives too fast? He totally makes me nervous.

The expert answers:

Nobody, especially a man, likes to be told how to drive, BUT that doesn't mean you need to clutch the dashboard with white knuckles week after week. Telling a man that his driving scares the living daylights out of you may not be taken with smiles and giggles.

Like other things we want to change about a man, the "You drive too fast" conversation needs to be handled gingerly, because some men just don't take criticism well (nothing personal, of course... but let's agree that asking a man to stop for directions or telling him to slow down and stop weaving in and out of lanes isn't usually met with "Good idea, I think I will do that!"

Being assertive is key! Let your friend know that you although you enjoy carpooling with him, you get nervous when he drives above the speed limit, and would appreciate if he could slow down. Another factor may be the time that you are leaving for work. Perhaps he is driving like a bat out of hell so you will both arrive to work on time.

If this is the case, suggest that you meet 10 minutes earlier so you can drive to work a bit more leisurely. It is all about communication. If he just tends to be a speed demon on the highway and you simply don't feet comfortable, I suggest you change carpools or drive yourself.

More on workplace relationships

• Getting along in the office: Belligerent people
• How to deal with a difficult colleague
• 11 Ways to avoid awkward conversations