Start writing
Share this Story

Moving far away from my parents taught me to handle things on my own

HR Professional | Blogger | Wikipedian | Family Photographer | Working Home Maker | Gardener | Loves Life

Read more at My Blog

Living away from my parents gave me the strength to become who I am today

A quick chat this morning made me think about why I choose to live away from my parents. I am from Azamgarh, a small city tucked in the far east in India, and away from the modern metros. Papa came to Azamgarh for his first job, got married and that’s how this city became our hometown. There were good schools and we had what we needed for the first 17 years of our life. But it did not have much to offer in terms of what I wanted to do, and the kind of exposure my parents wanted me to have.

More: Travel is actually more fun now that I have a toddler

To become an engineer, I had to take entrance tests and in those days, there were many exams and the best chances were via the state entrance tests or the national ones. There was B.Tech, then my interest in VLSI and then the first job in Bangalore. There was no looking back once I left.

I chose to live away from my parents and they wanted me to leave their nest and grow wings of my own.

Papa never picked me up and dropped me to Greater Noida when I was studying. I learned how to get a reservation and travel on my own. There were no online reservations back then and flights were out of question. With a seat or without one, I learned how to talk to other students, manage things, and safely come home for Diwali. Then I'd travel back to college.

Mum and Papa never came to my hostel to check and inspect the food that was being provided. Mum told me to keep a bottle of jam and have it with parathas if the curry was too spicy. They knew I would be able to manage.

They told me to save time and hire help to wash my clothes, so I did. I was able to invest time in teaching others. They taught me what to delegate and what to own.

They told me to take care of my health and eat well. I never cared if the other girls laughed at me when I walked into the kitchen with a five rupee coin to get a glass of milk after dinner. I learned to manage my expenses without missing my glass of milk.

More: Kids can't only be taught to care about issues that affect them

When I applied for jobs, I failed. But my parents stood by me and let me handle it on my own. When I did get a job, I had to travel another 1000 kms. Again, they did not come to drop me and find a suitable paying guest accommodation. They knew I would be able to figure it out on my own. The wings that they wanted me have were there and I was able to fly on my own.

They did not ask where was I spending my salary, they just spoke of saving well.

I was a 17-year-old when I left home and if I hadn’t, I would not be the person I am today. I do miss my family. Who doesn’t want to come home to parents with the first salary of your life? Who wants to come back from work and not ring the bell? I celebrated success with friends and called my parents at every milestone.

Now being married, I have another home but I still miss my parents. I can’t visit them over weekends, walk over for a quick chat or dine with them when I want. This year I went back home after four years but I meet my parents every year. Their love and trust makes me strong.

I long for my family and the life many of my friends have but I chose to live away to make a life of my own. Longing for family has been my strength as that brings me closer to them. I don’t think or talk about this often because I want to stay strong and let my wings grow as much as they can.

More: I love my kids – but I don't want to spend every waking moment with them

Originally published on BlogHer

Comments
Follow Us

SheKnows Media ‐ Beauty and Style

Hot
New in Living
Close

And you'll see personalized content just for you whenever you click the My Feed .

SheKnows is making some changes!

b h e a r d !

Welcome to the new SheKnows Community,

where you can share your stories, ideas

and CONNECT with millions of women.

Get Started