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Megyn Kelly's Donald Trump interview prep just got a lot shorter

Hannah Murphy is a writer and mom of three (two human, one canine). She loves bacon, vodka, babies, and dinosaurs--not always in that order. When she's not writing or chasing her boys around she's either chronically over-thinking or pret...

Megyn Kelly's going to interview Donald Trump, and here's what she needs to ask

We've all been made all too aware of Donald Trump's sexist comments following Megyn Kelly's grilling of him in the first Republican presidential debate. "You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes," Trump told CNN's Don Lemon. "Blood coming out of her wherever."

This was an undeniable punch to the proverbial ovaries of Kelly after she hit him hard with questions pertaining to his very well-documented history of sexist and misogynistic slurs, and now the Fox News anchor is coming back for more. Kelly and Trump have mutually agreed to a one-on-one interview despite the rocky history they share with each other.

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We are now inching closer to the Republican National Convention, and Donald Trump has gone from a political punchline to a satirical yet serious and borderline unstoppable force in the Republican party. He's leading the polls while simultaneously stepping on all of our toes, but America still hasn't had enough yet. Enter Megyn Kelly. After the infamous feud between her and Trump, the two have made amends, at least temporarily.

The interview is tentatively scheduled for May 17, and while we're awaiting the political implosion to happen, we've decided to help Kelly with her prep work.

What should she ask the Trumpster? We're glad you asked:

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  1. Would you be willing to address the tampon tax for women who are bleeding out of their "wherevers" everywhere?
  2. You've got daughters, yet you continually devalue women based on their physical appearance. How do you explain to your grandchildren, specifically granddaughters, the many sexist slurs of your past?
  3. In your opinion, who should fund the wall between the United States and Canada that Canadians will inevitably insist on once you become president and U.S. citizens decide to migrate to our northern neighbors?
  4. If your daughter is making 77 cents and a man is making a dollar for doing the same work, how will you make her America greater?
  5. Your current stance on abortion seems to contradict your lifetime stance as a pro-choice advocate. Just recently you declared that there "has to be some sort of punishment" for women who have had abortions. That said, what do you feel is an appropriate punishment for women that have undergone abortion procedures, other than, you know, the abortion itself?
  6. What shade is your spray tan? Presidential Gold? Kiss of Narcissism? 50 Shades of Cray?
  7. As a Republican presidential candidate, how do you justify your funding of Hillary Clinton's previous presidential and senate campaigns?
  8. When constructing your club Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach in 2010, you opted to fill the positions needed to complete the project with an astounding number foreign workers using visas — more than 94 percent, to be exact. Are those same foreign workers that filled available American jobs coming back to build the wall between the United States and Mexico?
  9. How much are you paying the women who show up at your rallies? Seriously, how much?
  10. Do you seriously think a country that you have publicly labeled as racist is going to fund the construction of a wall that will prevent its citizens from coming within smelling distance of America? Also, have you considered the consequences of such a decision (that is, the inflation of tequila prices)?
  11. You've gone on record stating that you will not change diapers because husbands shouldn't act like wives. If you can't dirty your hands with your own child's poop, what will you do when the shit hits the proverbial fan overseas and you've got the nuclear codes?
  12. When is Ashton Kutcher going to jump out of the bushes? No, seriously — when? This is a fake campaign, right?

Before you go, check out our slideshow below:

Megyn Kelly's going to interview Donald Trump, and here's what she needs to ask
Image: Wenn.com
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