Think about it: When we need to rant, we post and get the inspiration we need from friends that push us to a more positive place. When we need advice about how to jazz up a recipe, friends offer up their old favorites or dish out their grandma's good ole go-to recipe. Friendships on Facebook often do develop into more meaningful relationships — but then, there are friendships we thought we've cultivated well that have taught us lessons about limits.
I had a big lesson that pushed the limit this year. My daughter and I often do online comedy videos, since she aspires to be an actress and comedienne. My daughter is just 11 years old, and our videos are really fun and quite foolish. It's the brand of comedy that makes you crack up while shaking your head and co-signing our craziness together as a mom and daughter comedy duo.
Most recently, we decided to do a video on a hot topic: Should wives give their husbands a hall pass. If you haven't heard about "hall passes," let's just say that it's a green light to cheat without getting in trouble. So, I decided to have my daughter act like her crazy character, an old lady named Miss Edna, and offer up advice to wives that is totally against giving hall passes. Keep in mind, this is comedy coming from an 11-year-old.
A so-called Facebook friend jumped on my post and literally cursed out my daughter and me, using F-words and spewing hate that truly hurt my heart — especially since she directed her sour words toward my child. Where in the world did that come from? Apparently, this person subscribes to the school of "get your groove on with every Tom, Dick and Harry" and she was offended by a nonsense video because she said she does give and takes hall passes and didn't like what we had to say about it. Again, it was a video of an 11-year-old dressed as an old lady giving old-school advice.
I learned this person's hateful words were just a reflection of how she has always felt about me. Her hate didn't just happen to hurl at us on this particular day for no reason. She always hated me. As I look back now, I can see that the crumbs were always there and evident in her comments on many other posts, but I just failed to recognize it because I wanted our friendship to be real. It wasn't. This person was likely jealous of my life and that I found happiness and comfort in my kids and my husband and that I was confident enough to pursue everything that matters to me. Friends don't up and throw hate your way unless they've always had it in for you. If they do, just know that it's something deeper inside of them that they are lashing out about.
You should never apologize for being who you are. For me, I love people and I will never stop showing love, inspiring people and striving to reach my dreams or helping my kids aspire to reach theirs because someone wants to throw shade and put a damper on our sunny days. I've learned I will be careful with who I consider my friends and who are worthy to share in my joy. Not everyone will cheer for you, and not everyone wants you to win. At the same time, never let someone's misery deter you from doing you.
This year I've learned:
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