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10 Ways new emojis will change your texting for the better

Theresa Edwards

by

Shark Wrestler

Theresa Edwards is a freelance writer and professional whiner. She lives in Dallas, Texas with her family where she enjoys reading, roller derby, and complaining about the heat.

Middle finger and unicorn emojis are here to help you say the things there are no words for

We've waited for this moment for so long: The taco emoji is finally here. Along with a middle finger emoji, a devil horns emoji and a majestic unicorn emoji, all for your texting pleasure. It's a veritable embarrassment of emojis!

So with 184 new emojis at your fingertips in the Apple iOS 9.1 update, you might be wondering where to begin. Fear not, we've got you covered. Here are 10 of the new emojis and how to use them in a conversation.

1. The taco

Middle finger and unicorn emojis are here to help you say the things there are no words for
Image: Apple

What it is: A taco, duh. The one thing everyone has been whining about not having. Not that we're judging them. I mean, we've had freaking custard on there forever, but no taco? Well, it's finally set to rights.

How to use it: How not to, right?

Example:

Spouse: What's for dinner tonight?

You: (taco)

Spouse: You said that yesterday. Seriously, what's for dinner?

You: (taco)

Bonus! Another new emoji in this update is the hot dog. We're not saying you should incorporate the taco and the hot dog into your sexting repertoire, but we're definitely not not saying that either.

2. The middle finger

Middle finger and unicorn emojis are here to help you say the things there are no words for
Image: Apple

What it is: The bird. The one-finger salute. The eff-you flag.

How to use it: Oh, you.

Example:

Your brother: Hey, I just wanted to let you know I used your shower foofie to exfoliate my dude bits.

You: (middle finger)

3. The slightly smiling face

Middle finger and unicorn emojis are here to help you say the things there are no words for
Image: Apple

What it is: A smiling face with vacant, deadened eyes and the resignation one wears when they realize their life is a mere husk of what they dreamed it would be.

How to use it: Whenever you're internally screaming.

Example: 

Boss: Hey, I need you to come in over the weekend and inventory all of the paper clips. Happy birthday, BTW.

You: (slightly smiling face)

More: Vagina emojis are finally here, and they are glorious

4. The unicorn

Middle finger and unicorn emojis are here to help you say the things there are no words for
Image: Apple

What it is: A majestic mythical beast resembling a horse but with a solitary alabaster horn spiraling from its forehead.

How to use it: There isn't a wrong way. It's the beautiful carte blanche of unicode graphics.

Example(s):

Roommate: We need more tp if you're at the store.

You: (unicorn)

Your kid's teacher: Your son drew a very disturbing picture today.

You: (unicorn)

Virgin in magical forest: heyyy anyone here lol

You: (unicorn)

5. The sunglasses

Middle finger and unicorn emojis are here to help you say the things there are no words for
Image: Apple

What it is: Sunglasses. Can't you read?

How to use it: These are pretty clearly just for making CSI: Miami jokes.

Example: 

Spouse: Aw man, there's nothing but bread in the pantry.

You: I guess you could say...

Spouse: Babe, no.

You: (sunglasses)

Spouse: Please?

You: Our dinner's toast.

Spouse: Ugh

You: YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH

More: 10 Times people needed the text app that deletes messages you didn't mean to send

6. The Champagne

Middle finger and unicorn emojis are here to help you say the things there are no words for
Image: Apple

What it is: A bottle of Champagne, popped and bubbling.

How to use it: To celebrate all your little victories.

Example: 

You: (champagne)

Roommate: What's that for?

You: Guess who isn't constipated anymore?

7. The lion

Middle finger and unicorn emojis are here to help you say the things there are no words for
Image: Apple

What it is: An adorable little fluffy lion with sort of sad-looking eyes.

How to use it: Anytime you want to subtly guilt someone into doing what you want.

Example:

BFF: Would you hate me if I had to cancel dinner tomorrow?

You: (lion)

BFF: Damnit.

8. The rolling eyes smiley

Middle finger and unicorn emojis are here to help you say the things there are no words for
Image: Apple

What it is: An exasperated smiley with eyes turned upward.

How to use it: To secretly tell someone you hate them with a pure, unrelenting passion.

Example:

Cheryl, your co-worker: Hey guys!! It's time to pitch in for the bossman's bday present!!! I'm thinking we should get him this year's Dolphins Unlimited calendar!!! Totes breathtaking! Leave your $5 smackaroos on Cheryl's desk, k???

You: (rolling eyes smiley)

More: Common texting abbreviations every parent should know

9. The hugging smiley

Middle finger and unicorn emojis are here to help you say the things there are no words for
Image: Apple

What it is: A regular smiley with two kinda deformed hands splayed out underneath.

How to use it: As jazz hands, particularly when delivering bad news.

Example:

You: Hey, so about that shower foofie?

Brother: Yeah?

You: That's the one I use to scrub mildew from under the toilet rim.

You: (hugging smiley)

10. The popcorn

Middle finger and unicorn emojis are here to help you say the things there are no words for
Image: Apple

What it is: An old-timey box of popcorn with little fluffy kernels poking out of the top.

How to use it: On group texts with huge amounts of drama.

Example: 

Some lady from your mom group: So we'll meet at the children's museum at 10. Oh, and can someone please tell Charlene that if she's coming along, she needs to give her son his daily dose of hard-core stimulants afterward lol?

Charlene: Excuse me?

You: (popcorn)

Middle finger and unicorn emojis are here to help you say the things there are no words for
Image: Apple

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