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The 5 stages of computer grief (GIFs)

Meredith Bland is a freelance writer whose work has appeared on Time.com, Brain, Mother, The Rumpus, Scary Mommy and Narratively, among others.

What happens when your computer won't work & throwing it out the window isn't an option

Last month, I ran into some computer trouble. It was the kind of computer trouble where you do all the right things, but the wrong things keep happening. You follow the directions, but for some reason your computer says, "Nope. Not today." And that's when you start feeling the feelings.

1. Denial

What happens when your computer won't work & throwing it out the window isn't an option
Image: Giphy

You look at the directions, you look at the screen. You look at the directions, you look at the screen. Maybe you missed a word? Maybe you read something wrong? No, that's not it. Maybe it's not your fault? Maybe there's some kind of computer glitch? Maybe Chinese hackers took over your email account? Because something is wrong, and it certainly is not you. Or maybe this is what's supposed to happen and everything is actually fine? But probably not.

More: How to install parental controls on your teen's computer

2. Anger

What happens when your computer won't work & throwing it out the window isn't an option
Image: Giphy

Well, this sucks. What the hell? All you need to do is one simple, straightforward task, but since life is the worst and nothing can ever be easy, this one thing is going to take you hours. That is, of course, if you ever do manage to figure out what's wrong. This might be impossible, because you've been on Google for over an hour using every combination of search terms under the sky, and it seems that no one in the history of computers has ever had this problem. Find a pillow and scream into it.

3. Bargaining

What happens when your computer won't work & throwing it out the window isn't an option
Image: Giphy

There has to be a way to fix this. Maybe you can send a text describing the graph instead? Your coworkers will understand. If a picture is worth a thousand words, a graph should only take a couple hundred, right? In fact, I bet your boss would be impressed by your creative problem-solving skills. Or maybe you just don't need to turn in this one piece of work after all. It's one out of a million good things you've done for this company. You deserve a pass, right? You can fix this without fixing it! It'll be great!

More: New controversial app helps you text and drive

4. Depression

What happens when your computer won't work & throwing it out the window isn't an option
Image: Giphy

Nope. Forget it. You're going to be fired. You should probably just quit instead, because no one who works using a computer who can't solve a simple computer problem should be allowed to draw a paycheck. You should find a job that doesn't involve computers at all. How about farming? That's still a thing, right? I mean, yes, you love your job, but you also love baby goats. This could work. Or you could just go off the grid and starve to death in a cellar somewhere because, really, what's the point.

5. Acceptance

What happens when your computer won't work & throwing it out the window isn't an option
Image: Giphy

There is no acceptance when it comes to computer problems — either you fix it, or some wonderful person fixes it for you. And then that person receives an Edible Arrangement.

(Psst: But don't forget about baby goat farming.)

More: 4 Millenials who have given up riches for farming

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