Quincy the Elf better hope no one takes a middle-of-the-night potty break and forgets to turn on the light before letting it go.
In case the weird elf that moves around in the night doesn't creep your kid out, you can always have it being stalked by a walking dead doll.
Elf Chrissy Snow moonlights as an elf-xotic dancer when she isn't scaring the crap out of children.
This Texan elf is a gun-totin' member of the NRA, which we somehow imagine might not sit well with the Rudolph-loving children of the house.
If the company this Elf on the Shelf keeps is Homer Simpson and a bottle of whiskey, we're pretty sure he is headed straight for Santa's naughty list.
This lush little elf enlisted two tropical Barbies to help him with a little binge drinking.
"You can't expect him to live forever with his sister and the nipple-twisting that goes on there."
Oh, Hudson, you can't hit the Crown every time the Oilers lose. That'll earn you a one-way ticket to Elf-aholics Anonymous.
Hanging your elf from the fan pull cord only frightens children making them think the Elf has offed himself. #ElfOnTheShelfFail— Gail Zurek (@2manniehats) December 5, 2014
Seriously, who thought this would work out well?
We're not even sure what's going on here, but we're fairly certain it involves an elf, a Barbie orgy and some possible butt implants.
Clearly, no one told Carlos that you can catch cellulitis by using improperly sanitized hot tubs.
The logistics here are kind of confusing, but still... Eeyore seems relieved they aren't playing pin the tail on the donkey.
Fireball really did have some tummy issues. Perhaps he's lactose intolerant.
Apparently if an Elf on the Shelf uses a breast pump, the byproduct is peppermint. Who knew?
These parents clearly do not share our irrational germ phobias or gag reflex — we may never eat another chocolate chip again.
While this elf is entirely inappropriate for the under 21 set, we sure do feel like we've found a kindred spirit in the little guy.
We're not experts, but this festive fellow appears to be a direct descendant of the piñata.
Are we seeing this right? Is this elf murdering his marshmallow friends? How are the parents going to explain this diabolical peep show?
We're not sure what's more disturbing — that the parents want their little girl to take a picture with an elf while it poops or that they don't think it might be a bit confusing for their daughter to see them pick up poop and eat it. At least she has her priorities straight.
Aside from the privacy issues arising out of spying on poor Star while she poops, we're pretty sure the fact that her "peppermint patties" melted may be a cause for alarm.
If an elf loses his magic when the kids touch him, what happens when the dog tries to decapitate him?
Ruby the Elf should give a little more consideration about where the kid of the house's loyalty lies before she stages an elaborate — and apparently heartbreaking — prank.
Oh, to set a precedence for disappointment at such a young age... Nothing like failing to meet your kids' expectations and crushing their little dreams to kick off the holidays.
This is one present that was not crafted in Santa's workshop, that's for sure.
Who has time for cutesy notes about how Santa's watching? These parents went for the terror factor with thinly veiled threats from their inappropriate elf.
Visions of sugar plums are certainly dancing through this elf's head.
Well, Christmas tree lights do have an alluring glow about them. Elves need love too, right? Still, these parents better be ready to have the birds-and-bees talk on Christmas morning.
Points to the naughty parents who devised this R-rated vignette in a way that somehow manages to make objects as mundane as a paper towel holder and a candy cane feel seedy.
In this crime of passion, Barbie is totally complicit. Next year, they may need to borrow the nativity manger for a forthcoming bundle of Barbie-elvish joy.
Bratz... Barbie... Tinkerbell? Say it isn't so!
Uh-oh. This naughty little Elf on the Shelf got shave-happy with a set of clippers, and it might earn him a one-way ticket back to the North Pole.
Christmas is a time for R and R. Unless you ask this Christian Grey wannabe elf. If you ask Charlie, Christmas is a time for S and M.
And, well, Ruby's 'tude has turned into poo. In a shoe.
Creepy? Yes. Overboard? Probably. But, admittedly, we've gotta give these parents props for attention to detail in staging Sir Elfington's shenanigans.
Cheecha the Elf beefed up the holiday spirit this year in true Kim Kardashian fashion.
Because, seriously, can you imagine trying to get any shut-eye with this creepy little guy around?
If the parent in charge of this elf's goal was to scare the shit out of everyone, we'd say mission accomplished.
And you'll see personalized content just for you whenever you click the My Feed .
SheKnows is making some changes!