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FAIL Of The Week: When Elf on the Shelf gets awkward

Julie Sprankles is a freelance writer living in the storied city of Charleston, SC. When she isn't slinging sass for SheKnows, she enjoys watching campy SyFy creature features (Pirahnaconda, anyone?), trolling the internet for dance work...

We're pretty sure these 37 inappropriate elves are getting lumps of coal for Christmas

We're halfway through December, and you know what that means — Elf on the Shelf shenanigans are in full swing. But sometimes, well, inappropriate parents elves take things a little too far. These 37 naughty elves are not Santa approved.

1. This can't be hygienic

#quincy #elfontheshelf #christmas2014 #toilet #hopetheylookbeforetheypee 😜🚽

A post shared by 💕Jennifer Hardy🎀 (@jennholthardy) on

Quincy the Elf better hope no one takes a middle-of-the-night potty break and forgets to turn on the light before letting it go.

2. Beware of the zombie elf-pocalypse

#elfontheshelf #thewalkingdead #twd #Christmas #Xmas #zombie #dinner #funko #funkopop

A post shared by Trevor Waldron (@trevhairreno) on

In case the weird elf that moves around in the night doesn't creep your kid out, you can always have it being stalked by a walking dead doll.

3. This gives new meaning to the north "pole"

Little elves hanging out in the light fixture. Chrissy Snow on the pole? #elfontheshelf

A post shared by MP (@pricelessmaria) on

Elf Chrissy Snow moonlights as an elf-xotic dancer when she isn't scaring the crap out of children.

 4. On Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and... venison?

#whenintexas #elfontheshelf #huntingelf #elfontheshelfideas #elfontheshelf2017

A post shared by Jennifer Starr (@jlpuccistarr) on

This Texan elf is a gun-totin' member of the NRA, which we somehow imagine might not sit well with the Rudolph-loving children of the house.

5. Ho-ho-Homer is in the house

Takes more than holiday magic to out drink Homer J #thesimpsons #elfontheshelf #christmaspics

A post shared by matt roberson (@madexmatt) on

If the company this Elf on the Shelf keeps is Homer Simpson and a bottle of whiskey, we're pretty sure he is headed straight for Santa's naughty list.

6. Chug, chug, chug... wait, what?


A post shared by joanne jackovich (@jljackovi) on

This lush little elf enlisted two tropical Barbies to help him with a little binge drinking.

7. Well, this is awkward

"You can't expect him to live forever with his sister and the nipple-twisting that goes on there."

8. This is what happens to an elf who is an Oilers fan

Oh, Hudson, you can't hit the Crown every time the Oilers lose. That'll earn you a one-way ticket to Elf-aholics Anonymous.

9. We knew there was a flaw in this plan

Seriously, who thought this would work out well?

10. This message is brought to you by Nicki Minaj

Uh oh. #anaconda #elfontheshelf #afterhours #nikiminaj

A post shared by vip97 (@vip97) on

We're not even sure what's going on here, but we're fairly certain it involves an elf, a Barbie orgy and some possible butt implants.

11. Tsk, tsk, tsk

Clearly, no one told Carlos that you can catch cellulitis by using improperly sanitized hot tubs.

12. The most interspecies game of spin the bottle, ever

The logistics here are kind of confusing, but still... Eeyore seems relieved they aren't playing pin the tail on the donkey.

13. Somebody get this elf a gastroenterologist, stat

Fireball had some tummy issues! #elfontheshelf

A post shared by Danae Stoneking (@danaestoneking) on

Fireball really did have some tummy issues. Perhaps he's lactose intolerant.

14. Got milk?

Apparently if an Elf on the Shelf uses a breast pump, the byproduct is peppermint. Who knew?

15. Um, eww

These parents clearly do not share our irrational germ phobias or gag reflex — we may never eat another chocolate chip again.

16. An elf after our own hearts

Damn #ElfOnTheShelf drank all our damn wine!

A post shared by Brendan King (@brendanking66) on

While this elf is entirely inappropriate for the under 21 set, we sure do feel like we've found a kindred spirit in the little guy.

17. Ole!

Ole 🎉🎄#elfontheshelf

A post shared by Stephanie McManus (@steph_sebo) on

We're not experts, but this festive fellow appears to be a direct descendant of the piñata.

18. Santa's homicidal little helper

Smashing snow peeps #elfontheshelf

A post shared by Justine Salamone (@justine200042) on

Are we seeing this right? Is this elf murdering his marshmallow friends? How are the parents going to explain this diabolical peep show?

19. We feel ya, girlie

We're not sure what's more disturbing — that the parents want their little girl to take a picture with an elf while it poops or that they don't think it might be a bit confusing for their daughter to see them pick up poop and eat it. At least she has her priorities straight.

20. Potty humor gone awry

Aside from the privacy issues arising out of spying on poor Star while she poops, we're pretty sure the fact that her "peppermint patties" melted may be a cause for alarm.

21. Poor Bob

If an elf loses his magic when the kids touch him, what happens when the dog tries to decapitate him?

22. You are so not funny, Ruby the Elf

Ruby the Elf should give a little more consideration about where the kid of the house's loyalty lies before she stages an elaborate — and apparently heartbreaking — prank.

23. Option D: This elf business is for the birds

Evidence of my incompetence. #elfontheshelffail #elfontheshelf

A post shared by Laura (@lamisme) on

Oh, to set a precedence for disappointment at such a young age... Nothing like failing to meet your kids' expectations and crushing their little dreams to kick off the holidays.

24. A different kind of Christmas package

Its a what in a box? 😂😂 I'm dying #elfontheshelffail

A post shared by Hillary Peavey (@hillmpv) on

This is one present that was not crafted in Santa's workshop, that's for sure.

25. Mr. Tinsel Cane is the stuff nightmares are made of

Who has time for cutesy notes about how Santa's watching? These parents went for the terror factor with thinly veiled threats from their inappropriate elf.

26. Elves gone wild

When BAE sends you nudes #elfgonebad #elfontheshelfgonebad #inappropriateelf #adultelfontheshelf

A post shared by Renee 📷 Sweeney (@mommasweens) on

Visions of sugar plums are certainly dancing through this elf's head.

27. When Santa's away, the elves will play

Well, Christmas tree lights do have an alluring glow about them. Elves need love too, right? Still, these parents better be ready to have the birds-and-bees talk on Christmas morning.

28. We're guessing her name is Candy

Oh my Charlie 🙈 #inappropriateelf #elfontheshelf #charlie

A post shared by michellepenner55 (@michellepenner55) on

Points to the naughty parents who devised this R-rated vignette in a way that somehow manages to make objects as mundane as a paper towel holder and a candy cane feel seedy.

29. The Barbie-mobile has been defiled

In this crime of passion, Barbie is totally complicit. Next year, they may need to borrow the nativity manger for a forthcoming bundle of Barbie-elvish joy.

30. He who holds the squirt gun is guilty

Bratz... Barbie... Tinkerbell? Say it isn't so!

31. Someone's going to be angry in the morning

Uh-oh. This naughty little Elf on the Shelf got shave-happy with a set of clippers, and it might earn him a one-way ticket back to the North Pole.

32. Too much?

Charlie up to no good again... #50shades #inappropriateelf #elfontheshelf #charlie

A post shared by michellepenner55 (@michellepenner55) on

Christmas is a time for R and R. Unless you ask this Christian Grey wannabe elf. If you ask Charlie, Christmas is a time for S and M.

33. Ruby's got 'tude

That elf is an a-hole. #inappropriateelf #rubygarland #elfonashelf #moccasins #rude #elfshit

A post shared by Amber Stark (@zombiegyrl17) on

And, well, Ruby's 'tude has turned into poo. In a shoe.

34. Someone's been watching too much Dexter

Creepy? Yes. Overboard? Probably. But, admittedly, we've gotta give these parents props for attention to detail in staging Sir Elfington's shenanigans.

35. Break the internet

As if we didn't notice.. #cheechatheelf #elfontheshelf #inappropriateelf #breakingtheinternet

A post shared by La Dama Lorena (@ladamacooks) on

Cheecha the Elf beefed up the holiday spirit this year in true Kim Kardashian fashion.

36. For those who don't enjoy sleep

Because, seriously, can you imagine trying to get any shut-eye with this creepy little guy around?

37. This could derail potty training, for sure

My turn... #elfontheshelf #inappropriateelf #nightmaresforlife #saw

A post shared by michellepenner55 (@michellepenner55) on

If the parent in charge of this elf's goal was to scare the shit out of everyone, we'd say mission accomplished.

More funny fails

FAIL of the week: Holiday shopping blunders that are truly priceless
Thanksgiving FAILS we're totally thankful for
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