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Rape starts and stops with men; it's that simple

I've been in the safety/security business since 1995.I teach safety/security classes,educate about products,am a regular TV contributor.I write for a 1 million member trade group.

Lyrics to his band's hit song asks; "Does that make me crazy? Probably!" That can be said about CeeLo's recent ill-informed comments about rape.

Musician CeeLo Green, whose band performed the hit Crazy, is in hot water over his tweets disputing what actually constitutes rape. Green recently pled no contest to a 2012 charge of drugging a woman (without her knowledge) with ecstasy, then taking her to her hotel room. Prosecutors state there was insufficient evidence to charge him with rape.

Green's upcoming reality show was cancelled in the wake of his comments.

Green tweeted (the tweets have since been deleted):

"People who have really been raped REMEMBER!"

“If someone is passed out they’re not even WITH you consciously! so WITH implies consent.”

To add further insult to injury, he wrote:

"When someone brakes on a home (sic) there is broken glass where is your plausible proof anyone was raped.”

To compare rape with a home burglary and citing the lack of physical proof should be criminal. Rape is one of the most under-reported crimes. According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) 60 percent of rapes are not reported to the police. 97 percent of rapists will not spend one day in jail. One of the reasons is that victims don't think they will be believed. CeeLo seems to believe that because you can't always see the damage that no harm is done. He is not alone.

To imply that an unconscious victim is a willing victim is even more outrageous. Legally, an unconscious woman cannot give consent. Do I really have to say that?

The fact is that two-thirds of women who are victimized know their attackers. It is not the stranger on the street, at the bar or following you home at night. It will be someone known to you. Yet another concern that women have to be aware of; which of your acquaintances may be a perpetrator one day?

Every two minutes someone is sexually assaulted. We are all impacted by rape. Whether you know it or not. Someone close to you is a victim of an attempted or completed rape. My business is teaching women how to live safely and yes, to avoid being sexually assaulted, molested and raped. I arm them with knowledge, tips, even safety and security products knowing that the only real way to prevent these crimes is if men stopped committing them. Period.

Pepper spray, fingernail polish, personal alarms, stun guns, etc. certainly are tools that can help women fight off the men who commit these crimes, but they don't stop a rapist's mind and determination to victimize women. Parents of daughters, start having the "be careful/watch-out for bad guys" conversation with girls from the time they can walk and talk. Parents, especially fathers, need to be equally vigilant and drill it into their sons' heads that girls and women are to be respected and treated with dignity, not sexual objects and a means to take out their anger.

Yes, CeeLo, I think you are crazy. However, I hope this was a learning experience for you and all men.

Photo credit: Pool/Pool/Getty Images
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