Now that your days of kegstands and sorority talk have come and gone, you kind of can't believe how ingratiating and self-important these entitled "youth" of today are. Fortunately for you, little enough time has passed that you can still delude yourself into thinking you were nothing like them at that age.
You are the master of your own fate. Sure, that fate sometimes looks a lot like driving to your parents' house every weekend to wash your laundry, but the point is it was your choice. If you want to quit your 9-to-5 job and go be an underwater basket weaver, that's your prerogative, compadre.
You're making your own money now… holla! Over are the days of collecting a paltry allowance for watching the neighbors' over-caffeinated kids. Over are the days of tearing open a care package from your parents just so you'll have clean socks to wear and Top Ramen to eat. You're pulling in an official paycheck, which pretty much makes you a baller.
Seriously, the bravado of youth was exhausting. It's hard work having a witty retort or a wildly exaggerated story in response to every little thing. Once you grow up and get on your own, a liberating new kind of confidence develops… one which emboldens you to admit you have no frickin' idea what's going on most of the time — and that's OK.
OK, so there is a caveat here: It's possible you will have to wake up early for work. But the beauty is that is entirely up to you. You're ultimately the one who picks how you earn your paycheck, which means you can work around your night owl tendencies should you so desire. Plus, you can absolutely hang up on your mom if she calls before 9 a.m.
It's glorious. Your home is a judgment-free zone. You can wear the same pair of sweatpants all weekend long if you want. Or hey, you don't even have to wear pants. Nobody is around to throw shade your way. Or call the cops, either.
When you're younger, tossing back a cocktail at 5 p.m. can earn you a reputation as a binger (probably because you don't stop drinking until the wee hours). But when you're an "adult," it's perfectly OK to have an alcoholic libation or two over dinner.
You probably thought you were pretty sarcastic when you were younger. But as an independent adult, you've had years to hone your wit and cynicism. And whereas it just earned you condescending comments as a kid, now it's something that earns you respect in your circle of friends. It's your preferred pastime… like the grownup version of Go Fish.
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