There are plenty of benefits to dragging around a vacuum cleaner. First and foremost, its lifespan on a leash has got to be longer than cabbage. Plus, it's useful — if you find a power source, you can use your vacuum pet to do everything from clean up crumbs to pull up your hair.
Who doesn't love to get mail? Opening up your mailbox and finding something is one of life's simple joys. If you drag around a mailbox, everything you store in it and pull out later will feel delightfully like a present delivered via the postal system.
When you're dragging a bowling ball behind you on a leash, you don't have to worry about how bad you are at the actual sport. Not to mention, unlike cabbage, a bowling ball will just roll right over every bit of debris and every bump in the road, as opposed to getting snagged and basically turned into coleslaw along the way.
A plain old cardboard box, when dragged around, is basically like a mobile hotel. You can literally pack your bed right into it and just pop open the flaps and crawl in when you're ready for some shut-eye. And if you're looking for a quick pick-me-up to put a smile on your face, a cardboard box also makes a great prop for pranks (aka, scaring the living daylights out of anyone who crosses your path).
Does this need any further explanation? Suffice it to say, we feel as though a picture of Ryan Gosling would be far superior company to a head of cabbage. Is a head of cabbage going to keep you warm? Tell you how beautiful you are? OK, fine... the picture won't either. But a girl can dream, can't she?
When it comes to usability, the applications are endless with a pillow — you can sit on it, lie on it, arm yourself with it for the impromptu pillow fight, buffer sound with it, etc., etc., etc. Bonus? Just take a cue from Mr. Pillowhead and use your "leash" to wrap the pillow on your head during the day, so you never have to be without a cushy spot to rest your cranium.
Because, well, c'mon... what's cooler than a robot? One of these little mechanical wonders would put your friends' cabbage pets to shame.
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