He's not going to back down, no matter how much you press your point. The source of contention appears to be a difference of opinion over how to discipline your daughter, the way you treat his mother or the fact that he's still friends with his ex and he doesn't see any problem with it. Expect this to come to a full boil on Jan 7. What's at issue here isn't the kid, his mom or his ex. It's that he doesn't feel like you respect or trust him. Take this as food for thought to chew on in the future.
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