Mom Blogger

Is it still your job?

Moms often take pleasure in shopping for their kids, but how old is too old for you to do their clothes shopping?

Moms facing off this week

Our mom bloggers this week are Janell Poulette of Saving You Dinero and Vera Sweeney from Lady and the Blog. Both moms are SheKnows Experts Among Us, and they have plenty to say about this topic!

Question: Is it OK to do all of your college student's back-to-school shopping?

Vera SweeneyVera Sweeney

Lady and the Blog

@VeraSweeney

When I was younger and went away to college, I did my own shopping. I no longer leaned on my mother for support, and I grew quite independent because of the experience. I feel like those few years really helped mold me into who I am today. She — of course — helped out by sending me money but never had to shop specifically for any items that I needed.

I feel like I will live through the same experience with my children. I mean, obviously for special occasions — like birthdays and Christmas — I will make massive purchases for the kids to make up for lost time. But odds are by college, my little ones will be pretty self-sufficient.

Truth is, I'm sure with every visit to their college dorm, my husband and I will arrive with a car filled with goods for our kids. You never truly stop parenting, right? I'd better make sure my Costco and BJ's memberships are up-to-date. Yes, we have both. You never can have too many paper towels, after all.

More on school fashion

Durable denim finds for elementary school
10 Versatile fashion finds
Best back-to-school shoes under $50

Janelle PoulletteJanell Poulette

Saving You Dinero

@Janellcp

You should not still shop for your child who is in college. I do not have any kids in college, but I remember when I was in college, it was my responsibility to buy the things that I needed. It can be difficult to have a job and take college classes, but many people can do it and are better off for having done it.

Part of being a college student is to start being an adult and assuming the responsibilities that come along with adulthood. College students no longer have their parents watching over them and telling them everything they need to do. This is a freedom that many young people look forward to for a long time. If parents shop for their college-aged children, those children will not have the opportunity to grow up and start providing for themselves, making important decisions and learning how to manage money.

I'm not saying that parents have to abandon their children when they go to college. All parents always want to help and be there for their kids. But this is a great time to let them learn how to juggle more responsibilities. They may like it that you still buy them stuff like school supplies and electronics — but they will probably not like the clothes you pick out for them, nor will they learn valuable lessons they will need to know when they are totally on their own.

Tags: college shopping

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Comments

Comments on "Your kid is in college — do you still shop for them?"

Tara August 16, 2013 | 8:20 PM

When my kids are that age, I can see me giving them a gift card to help but not buying their clothes for them. I want to teach them to be responsible but not just stop helping at all

Leslee Haralson August 16, 2013 | 7:25 PM

I'm at the point in life where my kids will soon be leaving home. What I know is that if they haven't learned to be self-sufficient by the time they leave it will not be pretty for anyone. The teenage years are the time to start letting go and allowing children to gradually make increasingly difficult decisions and take responsibility for their actions. Parents don't stop being parents and I already miss the time when I was able to do more for my kids, but now it's their turn to be in charge and become what they choose to be.

amber whitehead August 16, 2013 | 10:54 AM

I have a daughter who will be heading to college soon. I think I will still shop for treats,care packages and special items I know she'll like to treat or surprise her . But on the day to day things I think she will take care of herself unless she says hey Mom I need such and such.

jake August 13, 2013 | 11:38 PM

Why not, but its better to send them money, and the writers should NOT compare college now to college previous times, just unrealistic there, college has become a money and loan shark trap with little to no prospects for a job unpon graduation, sure some are able to get through with no problems but maybe 1 out of 10 and it has more to do with circumstances than personal drive, the world today for college students is rather grim and its not going to get better for at least 20 years honestly it will probably get worse

jake August 13, 2013 | 11:37 PM

Why not, but its better to send them money, and the writers should NOT compare college now to college previous times, just unrealistic there, college has become a money and loan shark trap with little to no prospects for a job unpon graduation, sure some are able to get through with no problems but maybe 1 out of 10 and it has more to do with circumstances than personal drive, the world today for college students is rather grim and its not going to get better for at least 20 years honestly it will probably get worse

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