30 Tweets that make us shake our heads

Twitter

The best of Twitter? (Or
the worst)

It's happening. Twitter is taking over the world as we know it, and sadly, it's stealing our beautiful language, too. We've rounded up Tweets that are purely unbelievable and make us simply shake our heads in dismay.

We've removed these Twitter users' profile information to protect their identities. But even more, we've removed them to protect ourselves. These people are out there, somewhere; we'd rather not know. They're hiding among us, lurking in our streets, neighborhoods and shopping centers. Nowhere seems safe anymore! Here are 30 reasons some Twitter users have left us feeling nervous.

1

They're playing games

This Twitter user must be a writer for the hit family game Mad Gab. Say "flaming young" 10 times fast, and you'll wind up with "filet mignon."

2

They're predicting the future

Technically, this could be true (with a few minor edits, of course). If this Twitter user is referring to a poisonous vegetable, death could certainly be the end result.

3

They're getting crafty

We hope this Twitter user's collage includes word clippings from magazines, or better yet, the dictionary.

4

They're reporting the news

Don't worry! If something big is happening, Twitter users have it covered. Who knew the inauguration would offer so much celebrity gossip?

5

They're forgetting punctuation

Where to begin? Perhaps this Twitter user actually does have Alzheimer's disease. They seem to have forgotten all punctuation. And rules of grammar, for that matter.

6

They're growing impatient

Such news simply cannot wait! And our brains cannot process this tweet.

7

They're getting defensive

Like all writers, Twitter users are protective of their work. And thankfully so. We wouldn't want a mad epidemic of tweet plagiarism, would we?

8

They're educating the world

We love that this tweet was an @mention, the Twitter equivalent of "Hey, did you know?" Though we're not sure if "maturity leaves" happen before or after puberty.

9

They're expanding our language

We had to Google this. Twitter translation: "OOMFS" could be read as "one of my followers." But it doesn't stop there. This tweet also features examples of modern slang. "Textin," meaning "texting," "n" meaning "in," and "tho," meaning "though." A brilliant specimen of our language evolving in the modern era. That is, if you can overlook all of the other errors.

10

They're too busy to Google it

OK, this one is tricky. We get it. Those silent Ps can throw even the best of us. But really, there's no excuse in a world where Google exists. A simple search might have helped this Twitter user with the word "pneumonia."

11

They're becoming very expressive

Perhaps they're referring to blank stares. Which is, quite possibly, the facial expression many might have while reading this tweet.

12

They're giving medical advice

This might be one of the most frightening tweets of them all. It's one thing to simply tweet the wrong words, but when it comes in the form of medical advice, that's just terrifying.

13

They're getting in touch with their feelings

First, we wonder if this tweet is a title. Perhaps this might be an upcoming self-help book or something. We're not sure, but we are positive that "leard," "showin" and "yu" were not used correctly here.

14

They're learning to accept themselves

Just because Twitter users are hidden behind their usernames doesn't mean they don't have feelings. They're no different from the rest of us. We all worry about the beast that is "body-image acceptance." Perhaps we should throw them a bone on this one. For the heart's sake, of course.

15

They're extremely inventive

Someone should patent this, quickly. We have a hunch that whoever gets this gem first will soon find themselves sitting high on life's pedestal.

16

They're getting facts wrong

This tweet is simply not true. Parents, please protect your children from this madness. This has to be stopped!

17

They're using #hashtags wrong

The correct hashtag here would have been #imdumb. Let's get it right.

18

They're trying to make us feel better

Is it working? We didn't think so either. In fact, this tweet only left us with mental wounds. And we doubt they will ever be healed.

19

They're trying, they really are

This tweet was meant to be a sincere offering of condolences in response to a tragic event. We hope the meaning was not lost, at least.

20

They're not driving

Oh, thank goodness! They've designated drivers to cart them around! Did your safety meter just jump up a notch, or maybe two?

21

They're nearly there

Sometimes, they're just so close that you almost feel for them. Out of 16 words, this Twitter user only missed two. All in all, that's not bad; not perfect, but not bad. Then again, we didn't count the small things, like punctuation and proper nouns.

22

They're nearly poetic

We're not sure what this tweet means at all, but anyone would concur it's extremely poetic. It makes you stop to think, doesn't it? What is the gift? Who should open it?

23

They're getting into politics

Watch out! Twitter users might just take Washington by storm. Once they've pinpointed the political parties, the world will never be the same.

24

They're feeling alone

We're pretty sure this Twitter user meant "fend," and for once, we believe they speak for all of us.

25

They're into creative writing

Some writers experiment with the use of the comma, but this Twitter user experiments with the meaning of the word itself.

26

They're making us hungry

Is this Twitter user talking about lunch?

27

They're giving us an out

If you don't drive a cool car, consider yourself free! I'm out!

28

They're reprimanding their peers

Twitter translation: "SMH" stands for "shaking my head." We are certainly shaking ours at the way this Twitter user "corrected" another.

29

They're demanding respect

And we all should give them the respect they deserve.

30

They're getting philosophical

Words to live by. Be the elevator. Tweet this article if you'd like Twitter users to adapt.

Build your language skills

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100 Words that make you sound smarter
100 Words that make you sound dumber

*All tweets courtesy of dumbesttweets.com

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Comments

Comments on "30 Tweets that make us shake our heads"

Susan August 22, 2013 | 3:52 PM

In Tweet #3 you were amused at the use of collage instead of the word college. The first part of the sentence included the misuse of the word except rather than properly using the word accepted. I see these mistakes every day on the Internet. A great many of them made by professional journalists. Is grammar still taught in school?

Lauralee Hensley August 19, 2013 | 9:51 PM

I imagine some of mine are pretty stupid at times. Those nights where you can't sleep and you tweet, only to realize you tweeted or spelled stupidly the next day.

jo August 19, 2013 | 12:02 PM

#10 - They went outside and felt up a man? lol

Julia August 02, 2013 | 8:29 AM

OMG! Please have more articles like this one! Some of these are just down right scary but all are funny. :) Especially the commentary..;)

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