Guide to making new friends

Sep 15, 2010 8:55 AM by Sarah Kelsey

Posted in How-To / Love & Relationships How-tos

Making Friends
As An Adult

When you’re a child, making friends is relatively simple (your mom meets another mom, a play date ensues). As an adult, connecting with new people can be anything but. If you're looking for a few good friends, follow some of these tips and you’ll be making new pals in no time.

Step 1: Be patient

Making friends, especially if you've just moved to a new city, isn't easy, so be patient. It takes a lot of energy to get out and about and to warm up to people. It also will take time for people to feel completely comfortable with you.

Step 2: Set some goals

Instead of revving your friend-finding engine and rushing into social meetings, set a goal for yourself to slowly, over time, increase your social interactions. This will help you adjust to a more social life and ensure you don't reek of desperation whenever you run into new people. You will make friends; give it time.

Step 3: Nix nerves

Not all relationships are like the ones we've come to love in Sex and the City; far from it, actually. Most women are in the same situation you are—looking for a few good women to hang out with. So don't be nervous about approaching potential friends in your yoga class, at the gym, or in your supermarket. Sure, approaching people for the first time can make you feel jittery, but the person you're chatting with probably feels the same way you do. Smile, crack a joke, and ask lots of questions to help keep nerves at bay.

Step 4: Don't take rejection personally

Putting yourself out there to meet new people can be scary. You may get rejected by the first person you talk to, but don't take it personally. Some people aren't looking to make new friends. Others may just be in a foul mood after having a bad day at work. So don't let rejection get you down and don't waste your time with such downers. Move on and start talking to someone who's more receptive to getting to know you.

Step 5: Look in places you love

If you want to find a friendship that will last, meet people in the places you love. Join a book club if you're an avid reader. If you like yoga or Pilates, take part in a class. If you're a wannabe chef or wine connoisseur, sign up for cooking or wine tasting lessons. This will help you bond with people who share some your interests.