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Has your Feng Shui gotten all fonged up?

Kat Hobza resides in sunny Western Montana. She is the Senior Authoress Specializing in Sarcasm at www.funnyfreelance.com. Okay, she’s the only authoress at funny freelance. When she’s not formulating tongue-in-cheek ideas and content as...

Bring your surroundings back to center

If you are familiar with Feng Shui principles, you already know that life is all about energy flow. Proper energy flow, it’s believed by the Feng Shui faithful, has a direct and dramatic impact on your mental and physical well-being, relationships and prosperity. So how can you tell if your Feng Shui is all fonged up? Read the list of symptoms below. If you suffer from one, implement one or two Feng Shui principles to regain balance.

Woman with planter

If you feel…

Fat

Feng Shui experts claim that incorporating a few simple Feng Shui principles can help you lose weight! (Thank heavens. Bye-bye grueling P90X workouts!)  Start by decluttering your kitchen. Consider sprucing up the table with dark table linens, but don't choose red as it increases appetite. Put lots of fresh fruit and flowers around. Hanging mirrors in every room is a brilliant Feng Shui concept. Nothing will discourage trips to the fridge faster than unrelenting images of your muffin top.

If you feel…

Tired

Feng Shui is all about energy. To increase the energy levels in your home, bring fresh herbs into the kitchen (preferably in clay pots… clay pots must be more energetic than their lazy ceramic counterparts). Decorate with fresh water… in vases perhaps? Let natural light in. This isn't a Feng Shui principle, per se, but you could also try taking a nap, or going to bed earlier.

If you feel…

Broke

If you're financially strapped, stop blaming the economy. Your Feng Shui must be all out of whack. To fix this irksome malady, merely draw an outline of your home. Draw a tic-tac-toe grid, to scale, over the outline. Using the front door as the, um, front of the house, locate the upper left hand corner. This is the prosperous part of your dwelling. Set up an office in this sector. This area must include colors of green, gold (duh), red and purple. Whether you use these colors to paint the walls or line the shelves of the closet, all hues must be represented. Dead plants are forbidden. Instead, decorate your dollar den with pictures of things that symbolize your financial success. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, don't place this area by a bathroom, or all your good intentions will head straight for the city sewer. Seriously. I didn't make that up.

If you feel…

Lonely

You must open yourself to love, but you can't make the flow of your love energy person-specific. Then you're blocking, or something like that. Is your bedroom set up bachelorette style, or is there room for two? If you decorate this part of your home exclusively in pink and lace, you might be blocking again. How about your closet? Full of knock-offs or is there space for his stuff? Using all the five senses, are you visualizing your future significant other? Trick out your bedroom with these Feng Shui ideas and don't forget to thank us when you meet Mr. Wonderful.

There it is. Feng Shui your way to a wealthier, skinnier, happier, more energetic you.

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