"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong." — Charles Wadsworth
"To be a successful father, there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years." — Ernest Hemingway
"If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a 50 percent chance of being right." — Bill Cosby
"When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'" — Jerry Lewis
"It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping." — John Sinor
"Having a staring contest with a newborn is one of the weirdest things you'll ever do. And it is highly recommended." — Ross McCammon
"I want my son to wear a helmet 24 hours a day." — Will Arnett
"This is my most important role. If I fail at this, I fail at everything." — Mark Wahlberg
"The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get." — Tim Russert
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years." — Mark Twain
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