I Like Long Walks Down The Red Carpet
We love our celebrities and we hate to see them alone. We thought we'd help some single celebs write the perfect "about me" to add to their online dating site profile.
Ever wonder what a certain celebrity's online dating profile might look like? We picked a few single stars and thought we'd take a stab at it.
Taylor Swift (of course)
Wanted: Prince/Romeo/Knight-in-shining-armor for a princess on the run. I'm a complicated girl. I like pretty dresses that belong in fairytales, but I also wear sneakers... unlike your current girlfriend, who is probably wearing high heels. Want to know my soul? Just look into my non-prescription geek glasses and you'll see what's inside me: hope for a future with one guy who can give me everything I've ever seen in a romantic comedy. I don't have a type, really. I just want to be rescued. Meet me on my balcony? Don't let my dad scare you away!
I'm just a single chap looking to have fun. I like good girls, preferably ones a little older than me. Maybe someone to hold my hand during my next tattoo? I enjoy hanging out on the beach and want someone who can enjoy a drama-free vacation on the sand while running her fingers through my curly hair. Afraid you're not beautiful enough for me? Then we definitely need to talk because that's what makes you beautiful! I'm all about girls who are too shy or self-depreciating to recognize their own great qualities and who need me to point them out.
What's up? I'm Lindsay and I like to party. Dig a girl who can get down like a groupie without all the desperation? I'm your girl. Want someone who can flaunt a fur stole and red hair like a real-life Jessica Rabbit? Call me. Enjoy driving the getaway car for a bad girl? Grab a sharpie and I'll scrawl my number on your forearm. Want to know how to please me? Pay my bills, don't expect me to be at all reliable and never, ever show up without some blow. And, please. Whatever you do: Do not quote Mean Girls to me. So not interested in reliving that.
Heeey laaaadies! Here's what you need to know about me! I've got blue eyes deeper than the ocean and look f***in' baller with a beard. True story: The only "type" I have is hot. If you're smokin', I'm interested. If you're just a 7 or 8, buy me some Jack and we'll see what we can do. Seriously, though. I'm a nice guy just looking to have fun. Keep in mind, though: I'm in a helluva lot of movies and I'm going to need to make out with a ton of super hot chicks. Can you handle it? If so, have your people call my people.
Hey. Sorry, I may be a little awkward at this whole dating thing. I was locked up by my last boo-thang Bella, I mean Kristen, for a few years but I finally dumped her weird a**. Now I can find another lady to entrance with my dirty hair and endless number of T-shirts. Only rule? No tweens allowed. I am so over these 13-year-olds stalking me and practically attacking me with unwanted hugs. So many germs… ew. Anyway, I enjoy watching Twilight on repeat. You may have heard of it. If you’re into crappy movie marathons and drinking human blood, then I guess I’m down. Bye.
Howdy y’all… wait I’m not doing the whole country Hannah thing anymore. Now I’m a little punk with a bit of hood. If you've seen me twerking, then you probably already know that. Though I do currently have a man, my guess is he'll probably grow tired of my crazy behavior soon enough. So, I'm getting ready to be back in the dating game soon. I enjoy wearing latex underwear, sticking my tongue out, and proving the belief that all Disney stars grow up to be psychos true. If you think you can roll with me, send me a flirty message and who knows? Maybe we can have the best of both worlds together.
Uh… hi, I guess. You may know me as that creepy girl who doesn’t really talk... or smile. That’s kind of my thing. My thing was also dating that total loser Robert Pattinson. So over that. Like, really over. Dead. Anyway, let’s talk about me. I like wearing black and being the most awkward celebrity at every award show. My type has been vampire in the past, but that didn’t really work out. If you’re single, human and don’t want to drink my blood, send me a cryptic letter with some dark poetry.
Wazzu-u-up, ladi-i-ies! It’s me, everyone’s favorite scrawny white boy rapper-slash-pop star, the Biebs! You may have heard that Selena and I are over; I chucked up the deuces to that one. She was like, "baby, baby, baby, ooh," and I was like, "no." Assure your parents that the rumors about me ain’t true. I’m a class act; the weed wasn’t mine, promise… unless you’re into that. ; ) I like to get into fights with the paparazzi and get photographed shirtless. Send me a sext and I’ll see if you’re hot enough for me.
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