A defensive attitude can quickly turn a harmless discussion into an argument. Nix the negativity in your life by eliminating defensiveness. "When you get defensive, you're merely fighting against someone's attack and strengthening the negativity," Gabrielle Bernstein, speaker, life coach and author of Add More ~ing To Your Life said. "Witness your defensiveness and choose to release your need to fight back. This practice will offer you a tremendous amount of inner power and peace."
Are you always pointing the finger? Take a step back and take a good look at yourself before placing blame on others. "Your outside experience is a reflection of your internal state," Bernstein said. "Rather than point the finger at others, turn inward and ask yourself, 'What old feelings do I need to deal with?' This tool helps you stop blaming and start healing."
It's easy to get caught up in having (or not having) the fanciest car, designer jeans and trendiest purses. This New Year, make an effort not to focus on what you're lacking, and, rather, focus on the positives in your life. "These days, most people are very focused on what they don't have," Bernstein said. "Focusing on lack creates more lack. We attract what we think and feel. Therefore, it's imperative that you focus on what you do have rather than what you don't. Shift your lack mentality to a love mentality by focusing on the good stuff."
Unless you're talking about smoking, then it's important to stop being a quitter this New Year. "We need to stop being a nation of quitters," said Caroline Adams Miller, MAPP, professional coach and author of Creating Your Best Life: The Ultimate Life List Guide. "Research has found that many people simply quit when the going gets tough. That lack of resilience deters success. So, remember not to quit at the first setback you face. Role modeling that for our children is the best gift we can give them."
Speaking of quitting, if you need tips on how to quit smoking, check out this article, featuring helpful tips and strategies. Plus, for helpful weight-loss tips after the holidays, don't miss this article.
What motivates you? It's important to pursue goals that are intrinsically motivating. "Too often, I see very capable women caught in the trap of pursuing low-hanging fruit type of goals that eat up their time because other people won't step up to the plate," Miller said. "Being more selective about how your time's spent is essential." Push yourself to step out of your comfort zone and achieve whatever your heart desires!
According to Miller, stopping unhealthy habits this New Year begins with implementation intentions. "This is a fancy term for using the environment around you to cue you to behave certain ways," Miller explained. "For example, you can create the intention to say three things you're grateful for whenever you encounter a stop sign if your goal is to be a more grateful person. The stop sign is the cue to do a behavior-related goal. This approach has been found to triple the likelihood of success with hard goals."
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