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'Twas the night before Halloween

Jelly Mom is written by Lisa Barker, author of "Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane... Doesn't Mean You Are A Bad Parent!" and is syndicated through Martin-Ola Press/Parent To Parent. To publish Jelly Mom, buy the book or leave com...

Halloween humor

'Twas the night before Halloween and all through the place not a candy was left how could Momma save face?

Crazy woman eating chocolate

The kids were all tucked in their beds one through six while Momma was having her chocolate fix. The Hersheys were gone, the Snickers were, too, even the eyeballs with caramel goo. Wrappers and boxes and baggies galore littered the kitchen, the table and floor.

When what to Mom's wandering eyes should appear but the floating Great Pumpkin with a glowering sneer. Shrieking in fright to her bed she did fly begging forgiveness for each pumpkin pie.

But the scene was a farce and not really real - the result of a sugar high and not the real deal. Still, the kids, now awake, cried out in shock when they discovered the candy bowl empty of stock.

"Hey, Mother, what gives? Where's the candy galore? To the store you must go and get us some more!"

But none of the shops carried such folly. Instead they were decked with red bows and green holly.

"Christmas already? But it's still October!"

"We're sorry ma'am, trick-or-treating is over."

"Oh, you can't mean that!" mom cried, and looked hurt...as she throttled the clerk by the front of his shirt. "My kids are at home and they're counting on me! Surely you must have some spooky candy!"

"Sorry again, ma'am, it really is true. In just a few weeks it'll be Easter anew."

Sometimes it happens, that a mom goes berserk. It could be at home or at church or at work. The pressures of life begin to take toll and Mom will assume an insane kind of role.

It happened that night, folks say in hushed whispers, when Momma took hostages while still in her slippers. "I want candy for goblins and I want it now! Bring me lollies and taffy and bags of brown cows!"

Even the cops couldn't reason with Mum and they had to call Papa who came on the run. "Mother, dear Mother, please try to calm down. There's plenty of candy all over town. Why, just as we speak the neighbors prepare to hand out some treats or a hearty good scare!"

"That's right!" said dear Mom, "How could I have forgotten? There'll be plenty of candy to make their teeth rotten. I just can't explain it; can't understand why. I'd completely forgotten the night that draws nigh."

"Maybe you need to lay off the sweets. Let the kids get dressed up and do tricks or treats."

Mom nodded dumbly and said with a frown, "I guess I've been foolish all over town. I just needed chocolate to help me keep calm, so hopefully we'll forget this by the time it turns dawn."

The town folks all said that they definitely did. They couldn't recall that mom just flipped her lid. Well, who could blame her, who'd even dare? Look at the kids that are in her good care. Sometimes they're sweet and a joy to behold, but sometimes don't do what they've simply been told.

It's not easy on Mom, it's not easy on Dad, to not go berserk with the blessings they've had. So maybe we all should -- one night in October -- allow moms and dads to hand sanity over. Let them go nuts; let them go wild. Remember it's all for the sake of a child.

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