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21 Noisy toys to never get your kid for Christmas

Maria Mora is a freelance writer and single mom fueled by coffee, questionable time management skills, toaster oven waffles and the color orange. She lives in Florida with her two young sons. If you see her on Twitter, tell her to stop p...

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

Unless you’ve recently invested in a pair of noise-canceling headphones, you may want to avoid these toys for kids. Described by parents as “unholy” and “hideously awful,” these gadgets are best left to the most patient of caregivers, or those with very thick walls.

1

Singing puppy

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

With over 40 songs, the Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn – Learning Puppy will teach your child lots of colors and phrases while slowly driving you out of your mind. (Toys “R” Us, $18)

2

Cat keyboard

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

Thanks to the Internet, we all know that cats and keyboards go together, but the B. Meowsic Keyboard in the hands of an eager child makes anything but sweet music. (Target, $24)

3

Transforming dinosaur

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

Kids love this toy that transforms from a car carrier to a dinosaur. Parents aren't as keen on the roaring and clicking and constant noise from Switch and Go Dinos. (Toys "R" Us, $50)

4

Laughing dog

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

You haven't experienced irritation until you've walked past a Roffle Mates Roly the Dog in the middle of the night. It laughs manically, mocking your pain. (Fishpond, $39)

5

Bop It

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

Forget your nostalgia over this classic toy. Bop It calls out directions to kids, resulting in your increasing frustration as they play. (Amazon, $19)

6

Simon

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

Before there was Candy Crush, there was Simon. This infuriating game still exists, making repetitive electronic music as it challenges players. (Amazon, $31)

7

Annoy-a-tron

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

This tech toy was actually made to be annoying. The only upside is that Annoy-a-tron has a setting only teenagers can hear. It's payback time. (ThinkGeek, $10)

8

Keychain game

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

The Space Invaders Keychain Game is so tiny your kid can bring it in the car, where you'll be stuck listening to tiny laser guns forever. (ThinkGeek, $13)

9

Learning bug

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

With the name Crazy Legs Learning Bug, this toy is basically warning you away from the get-go. (Amazon, $12)

10

Voice distorter

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

The bad news — your kids think the word "fart" is even funnier when filtered through the Multi Voice Changer. (Amazon, $12)

11

Ball popper

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

You love the constant sound of a whirring motor, right? Best of all is the Playskool Explore "N" Grow Busy Ball Popper spews balls all over your living room once your kid discovers how to tip it over. (Amazon, $30)

12

Voice recorder

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

The only thing more annoying than your kid repeating himself or herself is your kid doing it electronically, over and over, with a Yada Yada Yada. (Amazon, $5)

13

Apptivity fortress

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

Once you introduce kids to the Imaginext Apptivity Fortress, forget about turning the volume down on loud apps. (Fisher-Price, $50)

14

DJ table

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

Your child's DJ dreams can come true with the First Act Discover DJ Mixer. Your kid has great taste in music, right? (Toys "R" Us, $30)

15

Electronic drum kit

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

Good news. You can fulfill your kid's drum-set wishes with a handy electronic drum set. (First Act, $30)

16

Furby

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

Years after its introduction, the Furby remains one of the most annoying tech gadgets on the planet. And kids still love it. (Amazon, $55)

17

Learning robot

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

The Cogsley Learning Robot can be taught by your child. As with training a puppy, it takes a lot of repetition. (Best Buy, $30)

18

Kids' microphone stand

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

Thanks to Winfun Kids Fun Microphone and Stand, your child can sing along to One Direction over and over. (Amazon, $19)

19

Talking oranges

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

The only thing more annoying than Annoying Orange videos are these talking Annoying Orange plush toys. (NewEgg, $35)

20

Talking princess

If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items

Kids love Sofia the First, but parents long for volume control on Talking Sofia the First and Animal Friends. (Toys "R" Us, $32)

21

Singing guitar

The Dora the Explorer Tunes Guitar had us at "Hear fun phrases from all of your favorite characters." (Amazon, $22)

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If you enjoy peace and quiet, avoid these items
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