Tami Keele: Early in my relationship with my ex-husband, I allowed him to take control of everything in my life. It started with simple things like the bills. Before long he was telling me what clothes I could wear and who my friends could be. I was in love with him, so I allowed this to take place. Once he started to get control there was no stopping it. Within a short time he had me believing this was normal. When the physical abuse started, I was in love and fear of him. He would get me to feel sorry for him after he abused me; it is a form of Stockholm Syndrome. Getting out was hard because he had control of all of our finances, I had no money and no credit cards and nowhere to go.
Tami Keele: After being held captive in a dungeon for two years, my health was fading and my memory was fading. Steven broke into another rage and began tearing up the house, then he began to beat me. He broke my nose, I fell to the floor and he knocked the TV and stand on top of me. As I was lying there on the ground a female voice whispered into my left ear, "Get Out! Save your life!" I believe it was an angel because I was alone in my room. After hearing that, I knew that if I didn't run this time I would die. This is when I told myself that I was worthy of love. I gave myself the love that I had been longing for. I believe that loving yourself is the first step to a happy life.
Tami Keele: After he was removed from my life, I was on what felt like an emotional high. I was so proud of myself for finally telling someone the truth about my abuse. I wasn't concerned about the future, just glad to be alive. I also went to therapy for a year as a constant. In therapy I learned that I also suffer from post-traumatic stress syndrome. I took the techniques and strategies from therapy and applied them to my life and began the healing process from extreme trauma and abuse from an abuser.
Tami Keele: I began to go to church on a regular basis and joined a Bible study. I believe God and Jesus had a better plan for me than to be abused. I also began to nurture the little girl inside and I rebirthed myself into a new positive way of thinking.
Tami Keele: I knew God and Jesus were there with me. I put my life in God's hands and went forward. Church was a big help to me spiritually. I put total belief into my faith. I was walking by faith even when I could not see what was in front of me. I also went to therapy, which helped guide me toward a positive way of life. Therapy gave me a blueprint of understanding how to deal with extreme abuse.
Tami Keele: Women, it is only going to get worse. The abuse will take your self-confidence and make you feel dependent on your abuser. A grip on the arms will turn into a slap or punch and on to a beating. When you tell someone you are being abused, it will lead to freedom and you getting your self-confidence back. You must break the cycle because domestic violence is a learned behavior. Your children will grow up thinking abuse is normal and become an abuser or allow themselves to be abused. Become a survivor, not a statistic. I did, and so can you.
Tami Keele: I believe family support is key for the abused. The person that is being abused has no self-confidence or strength. Without support, she will probably end up going back into the abusive relationship. Offering a place to stay is very important, and a couch could mean the difference between life and death. Please, don't look away if your loved one needs help. She needs positive emotional support and love. Most of all she needs someone she can trust. Remember that she is a victim, and that being abused is not her fault!
And you'll see personalized content just for you whenever you click the My Feed .
SheKnows is making some changes!