I'm overweight and I know it. But people are constantly suggesting diets and exercise routines. It's really embarrassing to me to have them do this. What can I do to silence the suggestions?
The expert answers:
This too falls under the "what are people thinking!" category. Even if they are trying to be helpful and feel that their wise knowledge can benefit another, if someone doesn't ask for advice, don't give it.
Most importantly (and as hard as it may be to do), don't be embarrassed that you are overweight, be embarrassed for the other person that their question is utterly indiscrete and inappropriate.
Many women are overweight and are positively content with their figures. Perhaps you are one of these women. On the other hand, if you do, one day, decide to address your weight issue, that is up to you and should be no ones choice expect your own. Stand your ground and silent these "budinskys" (and make sure you say these things when they first begin giving their recommendation or suggestion):
"Thanks for the suggestions, but at the moment, I am not interested."
"I am aware of the diets and exercises available, but can handle in myself at the moment. Thank you."
"It is kind of you to make suggestions, but I am quite capable of deciding what weight-loss program works best for me."
You can even make a joke of their suggestion by saying, "Hey, the average American woman is a size 14, I don't like to be average!"
A more aggressive approach may be to say, "I know you are trying to be helpful, but perhaps you don't realize that what you are doing just isn't very polite."
I leave you with a couple of quotes:
I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon. - Ellen DeGeneres
I keep trying to lose weight... but it keeps finding me! - Author unknown
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