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Feeling sexy about your body: Committing to a positive change

Ashtyn Evans is a professional blogger who lives with her family in Michigan. In addition to being a part of the SheKnows community, Ashtyn helps to co-run a popular media, news and opinions blog: Literary Illusions. Ashtyn is a resident...

Body image is a funny thing.

For some of us, it changes so easily. Some would say it changes based on night and day for the average woman. Depending on how your self-esteem is, the average woman goes from feeling comfortable with her looks to obsessing about those extra pounds, even if there really are none there.

Skinny Victoria Beckham -- is this sexy?!The main reason for our problems with body image involve where the image of beautiful women come from these days. We flip the pages of Cosmopolitan, Elle and Glamour

or any of the entertainment magazines, and we find "beautiful," thin women that are the model for all that the traditional woman should want to become.

Retouching reality

The problem is that these women often have the aid of photo editing programs to shave off cellulite, back fat, cottage cheese thigh dimples, "muffin tops" and anything else unflattering that might "ruin" the picture by allowing the model to look like a typical woman. Aimed with these pictures, the average woman -- including myself -- tends to feel a little inadequate at times.

Is skinny the only pretty?

While most men have the luxury of feeling fine with their looks, women like you and me struggle with the fact that the days of the beautiful Botticelli women are gone. Unless you are rail thin, there is the perception that something is wrong with your appearance.

In all honesty, there is nothing that is further from the truth. The more that we, as women, convince ourselves that our thighs are too fat, our breasts are not big enough, and our body will never get us on the cover of a magazine, the more problems we cause ourselves. This negative body image destroys our sex appeal, our libido, and can also cause mental and physical health problems, including depression.

However, it doesn't have to be this way. There are plenty of things that you can do to make yourself feel sexier -- things that will help you learn to appreciate your body more. I will be featuring many articles that involve bettering your body image in hopes that more women begin to see that being unique is far sexier than only being a size 2.

Sexy no matter your size or shape

The first thing you need to do is to make the commitment to look at yourself (good and bad) and list your best and worst qualities. The need to feel bad about your self-image will never change until you make the commitment to do something about your feelings.

If weight has to do with your self image, you need to remember that you cannot just say "Forget it!" and let yourself go because you feel like you are not beautiful. Buy new clothes, dress sexy, and wear perfume and makeup. Show your lover that you feel sexy -- and you want him to see you that way, too.

As you pay more positive attention to yourself (exercise, proper nutrition, bubble baths, new clothes), and make a commitment to change your body, you will begin to feel sexier. As a bonus, this can lead to a better sex life and a more fulfilling self-image -- and as most guys will agree, confidence is one of the sexiest traits of all.

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