Ah, Halloween is just so nostalgic. Watching all the little trick-or-treaters scurry around the neighborhood conjures up tons of memories from when we were kids. That feeling you got when you looked in the mirror to see your costume for the first time. The palpable glee in the air as you and every single other student in your entire school took a lap around the playground for the most spirited Halloween parade ever. The nervous excitement you got in the pit of your stomach every time you rang a stranger's doorbell. The furious counting as you sorted all of the candy stuffed in the pillowcase that was bursting at the seams with sweets.
The lump in your throat and tears that welled up in your eyes when you realized most of your spoils were Tootsie Rolls. Seriously... Tootsie Rolls? What kind of sadist gives kids Tootsie Rolls on Halloween?
Yes, my friends, nothing ruins a child's Halloween quicker than crappy candy. If you want to make trick-or-treaters cry, hand out one of these worst Halloween candies ever. It's probably tacky to complain about free candy, but the children of the world deserve better than this.
Originally posted September 2016. Updated September 2017.