Food & Recipes

These 20 Gross Sweets Are the Worst Halloween Candy of All Time

Ah, Halloween is just so nostalgic. Watching all the little trick-or-treaters scurry around the neighborhood conjures up tons of memories from when we were kids. That feeling you got when you looked in the mirror to see your costume for the first time. The palpable glee in the air as you and every single other student in your entire school took a lap around the playground for the most spirited Halloween parade ever. The nervous excitement you got in the pit of your stomach every time you rang a stranger's doorbell. The furious counting as you sorted all of the candy stuffed in the pillowcase that was bursting at the seams with sweets.

The lump in your throat and tears that welled up in your eyes when you realized most of your spoils were Tootsie Rolls. Seriously... Tootsie Rolls? What kind of sadist gives kids Tootsie Rolls on Halloween?

Yes, my friends, nothing ruins a child's Halloween quicker than crappy candy. If you want to make trick-or-treaters cry, hand out one of these worst Halloween candies ever. It's probably tacky to complain about free candy, but the children of the world deserve better than this.

Originally posted September 2016. Updated September 2017.

Dum Dums is actually the perfect way to describe people who think kids are excited about these lollipops.

Putting the "trick" in trick or treat? These pink and white candies that taste like poison, aka black licorice.

It chews like hot tar but tastes like shitty chocolate. A real Halloween dream come true.

It's 2016 — parents don't let their kids eat unwrapped candy. Stop shoveling in the candy corn, already!

The sketchiest. What brand is it? Who makes it? Where the hell do people buy it? And what is that flavor?

As an adult, I enjoy Dove chocolates. As a kid, I wanted to know why my weird aunt's candy was in my bag.

It practically breaks your teeth when you start chewing, loses flavor after one minute and barely blows bubbles.

You know some entitled kid picked all the watermelon Jolly Ranchers from the bowl, and the rest taste like sadness.

There is one black licorice wafer per roll, and that alone makes getting Necco Wafers a slap in the face.

Chewing on a sugary candle you're not allowed to swallow? Now that's terrifying.

As a kid, I always wanted to eat chalk. Then I tried Smarties one Halloween and changed my mind forever.

I don't care that it's full of off-brand M&M'S and salt — trail mix is still for the trail, not Halloween.

If you genuinely think kids like getting black licorice on Halloween, you're either European or 85 years old.

3 Musketeers was invented in 1902 by mixing cocoa powder with crafting paste. That's not true. But it does suck.

Candy is bad for your teeth — we get it. That's why kids get free candy only one night a year! Lighten up.