Break out the ice cream
Like many of life’s best pleasures, ice cream is an indulgence we often pass up for health or dietary reasons. But as a slight twist on the old saying goes, you’ll never find someone on their death bed murmuring as their last words, “I wish I’d eaten less ice cream.” Rather than reserve the extravagance for birthdays, learn to recognize the many other common signs it’s time for some ice cream.
Victories and triumphs
Celebrate the high points of life with ice cream. When your favorite NFL team wins a game, your kid’s ball club scores a victory, you get a promotion at work, you win $5 on the lottery or you just hit all the traffic lights on green for two straight miles, celebrate with ice cream.
Low times in life are also good times for ice cream. A lost pet, a sick loved one, a speeding ticket, a broken heart or a stock market loss are all good reasons to soothe your heart and soul with a big bowl — or small carton — of your favorite ice cream. If you suffer two or more losses in one day, you have permission to pour as much hot fudge, whipped cream and chopped nuts on top as you like.
Many think of ice cream as a hot weather food, a creamy treat to cool you down on a hot afternoon. However, rain is also good ice cream weather because it prevents you from getting the blues as the skies turn gray and gloomy and the rain beats down in sheets. Snowy weather is also perfect for ice cream consumption. With every cold bite you put into your mouth, the rest of your body feels warmer and cozier.
Threats and rumors
It takes only a few minutes to find dire predictions on the internet that the world will end tomorrow, next week or at the end of the year. There couldn’t be a better reason to eat ice cream than feeling that your days are numbered. Imagine watching a meteor speeding towards your house and you still have an unopened carton of butter pecan or double chocolate death ice cream in the freezer. It's always best to exit on a high note with the taste of ice cream lingering on your tongue. And sooner or later, you can be sure dairy cows will go on strike or all fall into a big pothole and ice cream will cease to exist. Better to consume as much ice cream as possible before that fateful day.
Ice cream is the first thing to spoil in a freezer with no power. In the spirit of the idiom, "Waste not, want not," it's your moral and civic duty to eat all the ice cream in the freezer before it melts and goes to waste. Call in neighbors to help if the job's too big for you to handle.
These are just a few signs it's time for ice cream. Pose the question to friends and family. They'll probably have many more good reasons to regularly indulge yourself in one of the world's most scrumptious foods.