Choose Your Weapon

If students can use Cliff's Notes and non-swimmers can use floaties, why can't relationship-challenged individuals have dating tools at their disposal? Dating can be just as complicated as reading Shakespeare and learning to swim, so it's only fair to give daters relationship aids and finesse floaties. Go ahead, you can cheat, we won't tell.

Woman Reading

For the Newly Single

New to the dating pool and still learning to cope with your newfound status? Bruised and confused singles can use the After the Breakup Wheel O' Wisdom ($4.50 at knockknock.biz). The emotional tool can help the dating newbie how to wallow, avenge and mend. Just spin the wheel and heal accordingly.

For the Dysfunctional Dater

You just want one to stick – that's all you ask. Add to that: Avoid a broken heart in the process. "How to Survive Dating" ($12.95 at Barnes and Noble) provides words of wisdom from hundreds of single men and women (who are now probably married). How did they survive dating? More importantly, how were they able to tell if a relationship was not going to work and to run the other direction?

For the Indifferent Significant Other

Although I think daters should avoid resorting to such insensitive means, if you're a relationship phobe (who still wants a life partner nonetheless), "Hardly Working at Relationships: The Overachieving Underperformer's Guide to Living Like You're Single When You're Not" ($14.95 at amazon.com) can be your ticket at love, without having to put the effort into one.

For the Dating-Indecisive

Should I go? Should I not? If so, then what should I wear? What does he think of me? Should I kiss him or just give him a hug? Maybe a handshake? Ack! Don't irritate your buds anymore with such nonsense. Instead, ask the Magic Date Ball ($10.25 at amazon.com). The Procedural Dating Kit

For the Serial Dater

It's hard to keep track. Date like a pro with The Procedural Dating Kit ($25.99 at www.knockknock.biz). The dating aid incorporates feedback cards, attraction notifications, and a dating dossier. If you find a good match, hand out the exchange form for contact information and exclusivity agreement.

For the Thorough Dater

You're the ultimate rule-follower with the ideal male specimen in mind. You refuse to date a guy who sports mandals, is bad with correspondence, or acknowledges he's a momma's boy. The moment you find out he's tardy, messy, or cheap, you disappear without explanation. But sometimes it's hard to spot the winners and rule out the losers. You'll find all the answers in "The Man BashingSpotter's Guide to the Male Species" ($10.36 at amazon.com).

For the Man-Hater

From one bad date to the next, you can't help but despise the opposite sex. You paid for your own movie ticket (and his) at the children's rate (his idea, not yours!), and still, he had the nerve to go for a kiss at the date's termination. Then when you backed away, he suggested a second meeting. As if! Now you just man-hate. Maybe you wanna use this Man Bashing Punching Bag ($24.95 at wishingfish.com).

For the Disgruntled Girlfriend

How hard could it possibly be to put your dirty socks in the hamper, cook once in a while, remember your anniversary? Before you kick your detached, scatter-brained boyfriend to the curb, consider reading the "50 Boyfriends Worse Than Yours" ($9.28 at amazon.com). If he's worth saving, this book may just be the thing to help you come to that conclusion.

Comments

Comments on "Cheating in love"

Oneformen? July 10, 2008 | 2:12 PM

I did find the punching bag hilarious, the same as a female punching bag would be hilarious. I would just like to see a female one with the soft spots pointed out on it. Double your market audience, people. Twice the profit, double the fun. :)

Nick July 10, 2008 | 12:46 PM

It my only be a punching bag but the concept behind it is not right. Imagine a punching bag that was like that aimed at black people? Yeah not so funny than ha? How many women would think a guy is normal or actually find it humorous if he had a woman bashing bag? Oh I am forgetting, todays women are shameless hypocrites.

Al July 10, 2008 | 10:21 AM

Buy this punching bag and simply attach a full-height portrait of female to it. Voila: the problem is solved.

ladeedah July 10, 2008 | 8:32 AM

I for one find the punching bag hilarious. It's a joke people...the reason why so many people are sick in this country is because no one knows how to laugh. Anyone with half a brain should know that this doesn't promote female to male violence...geez folks..lighten up.

jacki July 10, 2008 | 8:21 AM

seriously, people? the punching bag is a total joke. i, for one, would much rather women beat a punching bag when angered by men than become a lifetime movie and actually beat a man up. plus, men have blowup dolls of women. can't we have a little fun too?

salty July 10, 2008 | 8:20 AM

ummm it's a punching bag, people ... she's not suggesting you hit men. have a sense of humor! you people make me sad.

Denis Pakkala July 09, 2008 | 8:38 AM

That punching bag makes fun of Female on Male Domestic Violence. Disgusting humor for misandrist female batters!

Oneformen? July 09, 2008 | 7:38 AM

Is there a woman punching bag for men? Thats something I would buy. Imagine I'm giving the opposite a good beating. Just like the womens one.

mjaybee July 08, 2008 | 10:23 PM

Is there a woman-bashing punching bag?

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