Ladies, you might want to sit down for this one because we're sure this will infuriate you as much as it does us: Doritos announced that it'll make chips specifically for women.
Really, Doritos? Please join the year 2018 with the rest of us.
The "lady-friendly" version of the chips will reportedly make less of a crunch noise when eaten. As far as the packaging goes, the bags will be specifically designed to fit inside one's purse. "Because women love to carry a snack in their purse," Indra Nooyi, global chief executive at PepsiCo, said in an interview with Freakonomics Radio.
So let's get this straight: We'll pay the same amount as men but for a smaller bag? Oh, boy; that's fantastic. It's everything we've been fighting for!
Nooyi continues to say women don't want to lick their fingers when eating chips like men do. OK, now mentally prepare yourself for the following quote...
"When you eat out of a flex bag — one of our single-serve bags — especially as you watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don't want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom," Nooyi explained.
"Women would love to do the same, but they don't," she continues. "They don't like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don't lick their fingers generously and they don't like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth."
Speak for yourself, Nooyi.
Because HOW DARE WOMEN MAKE NOISE.— Lisa Leoni (@lisaleoni) February 5, 2018
And how dare women take up too much space.
And how dare women be assertive.
And how dare women ask for what they want.
Sure, let's tackle loud & messy chips instead of, I don't know, not judging a woman for licking @Doritos dust off fingers. https://t.co/EpngUnEKUX
Unfortunately, they are "getting ready to launch of bunch of them soon."
WE ASKED FOR EQUAL PAY, WE DIDN'T ASK FOR THIShttps://t.co/BEgoy4kSqZ— Monique Jaques (@moniquejaques) February 5, 2018
Independent spoke with the Women's Equality Party, who agreed. "No doubt some male consumers will welcome the chance to have a bigger package. But the idea of shrinking products for women, no doubt for the same price, is as old as the Ad Men making these decisions. Companies that perpetuate these tired gender stereotypes will continue to lose out on the single biggest consumer group: women."
I've got a pitch for the commercial:— DatNoFact (@datnofact) February 5, 2018
*man sitting down, eating doritos noisily*
*woman tries to take one from packet, but he snatches it away*
"Here", he says, as he throws her a small packet of doritos labelled "for women"
*man turns & winks to the camera*
"NOW FOR WOMEN"
Doritos are launching 'lady-friendly' crisps just for women: Wonder if these can only be eaten via the vagina? Otherwise, they're just crisps. In a smaller bag. We fought for the vote, and still fight for equal pay. NOT THIS. https://t.co/KXM3igb2vC— Sara Robinson (@sararobinson81) February 5, 2018
Neither Doritos nor PepsiCo has confirmed when or where the "lady-friendly" chips will launch. Let's hope for never.