Sit down, my friends, for I am about to lay on you the first big shocking news story of 2017: Americans Eat 554 Million Jack in the Box Tacos a Year, and No One Knows Why.
The Wall Street Journal begins its expose with a chilling fact. "More than 1,000 times a minute, someone bites into what has been described as a wet envelope of cat food — and keeps eating." Why? And since when has Jack in the Box made tacos? (Since at least the 1980s, apparently.)
Jack in the box tacos are God's gift to man kind pic.twitter.com/5EwNJmOker— Casey Williams (@CaseyWilliams90) December 28, 2016
"Man I love Jack in the Box tacos!" an unnamed editor told me. I asked her why. "Only time I ate them was in college. I was very intoxicated at the time. So I guess it's the alcohol plus the hot sauce they give you." Oh, so it's the sauce.
But there has to be more, right? What's in them? Shells, "taco meat," cheese, lettuce, sauce ... ??? Jack in the Box doesn't list the ingredients online, but one former employee described how they're made via Reddit.
Jack in the box uses sliced cheese in their tacos... Wtf pic.twitter.com/GnhEOaVTvZ— James Reed (@JamesCReed_) September 24, 2016
So, that's weird. But this is starting to make sense...
Jack in the Box $1 for 2 tacos is now $1.29 for 2. This gentrification is getting out of hand.— Pete Sekona (@lom_wolves) December 23, 2016
Excuse me, but that is still absurdly cheap. Guess what — another clue...
Jack in the Box tacos at 10am? Hell yeah pic.twitter.com/Yvny8xFMcR— Noah™ (@Noah_Boomin) November 30, 2016
Apparently, you can get them any time of the day or night.
You know what? This is actually not that hard to figure out.
So, there you go. Mystery solved. I hear they're especially good with the ranch dressing Jack in the Box gives out for free.
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