Happy news: Pizza vending machines exist, and they are proof that the dreams you wish for will come true. This summer, Ohio University welcomed the first Pizza Touch vending machines to its student body, and the company has plans to expand.
Pizza Touch, which offers a choice of cheese, Margherita or mushroom-pepper pizza for just $6, plans to install machines in more than 100 locations across central Florida.
That's almost exciting enough to convince me that there's a reason to return to Florida, aka "America's basement" after the hot and humid trip I took to Disney World (and Richard Petty's NASCAR Driving School, of course) in fourth grade. Man, if 9-year-old me knew that I could have just waited 20 years to head to Florida and eat pizza from a vending machine instead of ramen noodles from a Best Western kitchenette, I probably would have been pissed.
The Pizza Touch machines will be placed around colleges, hospitals, malls and, yes, hotels. And while the thought of being able to snarf down a Margherita pizza at 9:50 a.m. while waiting for stores to open at the mall does sound strangely appealing, it makes me wonder how far we could push this fresh-food vending machine trend. Look how many other options we already have.
1. Sprinkles cupcake ATM
Sprinkles has 12 cupcake ATMs across the country and is planning to expand to Tampa soon.
2. Berdoll pecan pie vending machine
This pecan orchard in Cedar Creek, Texas, is famous for its pecan candies and pies. And now you can get a full pecan pie from its vending machine.
3. Applestone Meat vending machines
Serving up burger patties, hot dogs, meatballs and sausages, Applestone Meat Co. in Accord, New York, has a vending machine that carnivores will love.
4. Beverly Hills Caviar boutique
Craving caviar but your local gourmet shop is closed? You can pick up a tin of your favorite fish eggs from this automated caviar boutique — aka vending machine — in Beverly Hills.
Restaurants are great, cooking at home can be fun, and ordering in is always an option. But when you're craving food that involves no work on your part and no interaction with a human, food vending machines seem to be the answer. Whether you're on your way home from the bar and want some greasy cheese pizza or headed to a fancy New Year's Eve party and desperate for caviar, food vending machines totally have your back.
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