If I told you that someone has invented the world's hottest tortilla chip and that it's so spicy it's sold in a coffin-shaped box big enough to hold only one chip, would you still want to try it?
If so, you're in luck.
Paqui Chips has created a tortilla chip coated in a spice blend that includes Smokin' Ed's Carolina Reaper (the world's hottest pepper), bhut jolokia (ghost pepper) and chipotle pepper. The chips will be sold individually for $5, starting on Oct. 1.
So if you're up to the challenge, what should you do to prepare?
The only thing worse than eating a hot chili pepper is inhaling its noxious fumes and writhing on the ground for the better part of an hour like a giant grub as your lungs burn with every breath. Uh, not that I'm speaking from experience or anything.
To be safe, you should wear some gloves while you're eating. Trust me, you do not want to get chili residue on your hand and forget about it, only to be reminded of it hours later during your "me" time. Uh, again, not speaking from experience.
Dairy is pretty much the only thing that'll mute the intense taste bud pain that comes with eating fiery hot chilies. Get yourself a huge glass (or straight-up gallon jug) of icy cold milk, and set up some open containers of full-fat yogurt and sour cream with spoons in them too. Hell, maybe even treat yourself to some of your favorite ice cream. When your eyes are watering from pain, you'll be glad you prepared something to soothe your taste buds.
Do you really want to blow nothing but hot chili tortilla chips out both ends if your body is overcome with gastric distress? I didn't think so. Capsaicin, the compound that makes spicy foods spicy, is fat-soluble — some professional competitive eaters recommend eating a reasonably sized meal high in fat and carbohydrates 20 to 30 minutes before eating a super-spicy food, which will help your stomach digest things later on. The time for a cheeseburger and fries is now.
Do you really think you'll be able to keep a firm grip on your phone as your mouth gets overwhelmed by the inferno of your Carolina Reaper chip? You need a trusty friend there who can take a Snapchat video for your friends so no one can say "pics or it didn't happen" when you tell them of your harrowing experience.
Ten to 15 minutes before you devour your super-spicy chip, take a dose of Pepto-Bismol, Tums or Alka-Seltzer. They might help prevent stomach irritation, which could save you some pain later on — when you're sitting on your ivory throne.
When you've finally conquered your Carolina Reaper chip and the fire in your mouth has died down, you should start drinking water. This will help keep things flowing smoothly (especially after eating all of that mouth-cooling, high-fat dairy).
Still excited to try the Carolina Reaper Madness #OneChipChallenge? You can get your chip at Paqui's online store starting Oct. 1. It's like Halloween, but for your mouth.
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